Edward Norton credited as playing...
Scout Master Ward
- Scout Master Ward: Skotak, what's all this lumber for?
- Skotak: We're building a treehouse.
- Scout Master Ward: Where?
- Skotak: Right here.
- [all look up at treehouse perched ridiculously high on a tall swaying tree]
- Scout Master Ward: That's not a safe altitude. Why is it up so high? If someone falls from there, that's a guaranteed death.
- Skotak: Well, where would you have built it?
- Scout Master Ward: Lower.
- Lazy-Eye: What's your real job, sir?
- Scout Master Ward: I'm a math teacher.
- Lazy-Eye: What grade?
- Scout Master Ward: Eighth.
- Lazy-Eye: Do you need a PhD for that?
- Scout Master Ward: Lazy-Eye, no, but you know what? We're actually in the middle of something here, in case you didn't notice. One of our scouts is missing and that's a crisis. Anybody else? Redford.
- Redford: What if he resists?
- Scout Master Ward: Who?
- Redford: Shakusky, are we allowed to use force on him?
- Scout Master Ward: No, you're not. This is a non-violent rescue operation. Your mission is to find him, not to hurt him, under any circumstances. Am I making myself understood?
- Scout Master Ward: I'm gonna change my answer, in fact. This is real my job. Scout Master, Troop 55. I'm a math teacher on the side.
- Walt Bishop: Why can't you control your scouts?
- Scout Master Ward: I'm trying.
- Walt Bishop: [Mr. Bishop throws shoe at Scout Master Ward]
- Captain Sharp: He's not violent!
- Scout Master Ward: The report describes an assault with scissors.
- Scout Master Ward, Captain Sharp: That was the girl!
- Scout Master Ward: You have your orders. Use the orienteering and path-finding skills that you've been practicing all summer. Let's find our man, bring him safely back to camp. Remember, this isn't just a search party, it's a chance to do some first class Scouting.