Clint Howard credited as playing...
Doctor
- Doctor Mangler: Nosferatu! Dracula! Blade! Blade 2! Dark Shadows! No, Dark Shadows was a Soap Opera.
- Doctor Mangler: Did it move like a vampire?
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: I didn't see her, but from all accounts, it moved like a slow tornado.
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: I have no authority in these matters, but I will not stand idly by while you kill that creature or Elvis impersonator as part of some mandated experiment of yours.
- Doctor Mangler: The fascinating caviar Lieutenant is that they're very difficult to kill. Only by stake, fire, holy water, or watching Rocky sequels. The vampire will stay responsive forever. The marvel of science. And I'm onto something really big.
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: How big?
- Doctor Mangler: I think I can make Hitler immortal.
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: Great. Anyway, there has been an incident. Pack a travel bag and we go to Disneyland in 20 minutes.
- Doctor Mangler: Oh, no, no! I'm doing my taxes!
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: [looking at the vampire creature on the slab] That's a vampire?
- Doctor Mangler: Indeed. A night patrol caught is scrounging near the west fence a couple of nights ago. I believe it was a Gypsy, or even a movie critic at one time. But they don't get out much.
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: I've never met a movie critic before.
- Doctor Mangler: Which is why your alive. You see, this creature no longer has any bonds to the morality of man. But you never trust a vampire.
- Lt. Caspar Jaeger: Must you savage him in my presence?
- Doctor Mangler: I brought Churchill down here a couple of times and he didn't seem to mind. I'm just testing it's resiliency. And this is very resilient creature!