Lindsay Ellis credited as playing...
Nostalgia Chick
- Nostalgia Critic: [over the phone] Can you hear me?
- Angry Joe: Yes.
- Nostalgia Chick: Yes.
- Phelous: Yes.
- Cinema Snob: No. I mean yes.
- Nostalgia Critic: And so, it is the ruling of this court that you be found guilty for the crimes against our government. All in favor, say "aye". Aye. All opposed?
- The Spoony One, Linkara, Angry Joe, Nostalgia Chick, Phelous, MarzGurl, Bennett the Sage, 8-Bit Mickey, Benzaie: Nay!
- Nostalgia Critic: [sing-songy] Too bad I'm in charge! Guilty!
- Nostalgia Chick: Wait, how come it took you three days to come back? Why couldn't you just do it right away?
- Santa Christ: I'm sorry, have you ever been dead before?
- Nostalgia Chick: No.
- Santa Christ: Have you ever risen from the grave?
- Nostalgia Chick: Guess not.
- Nostalgia Chick: [Nostalgia Critic is beaten senseless] Well done, everyone, well done. Now, since I am next in line for the presidency, it's only fitting that I should wear the crown.
- [takes Critic's hat]
- Nostalgia Chick: You will refer to me as Madame President from now on.
- Bennett the Sage: Wait a minute, so this whole cutesy, naive thing was just an act?
- Nostalgia Chick: Yep.
- JewWario: You're not really that nice?
- Nostalgia Chick: Nope.
- Benzaie: You're not really that stupid?
- Nostalgia Chick: Uh-uh.
- Nostalgia Chick: I am the new ruler of Kickassia, and there's gonna be some new rules around here.
- [laughs maniacally]
- Cinema Snob: [takes hat from her] Excuse me, but it was my insight that overthrew this government. So I think it should be I taking over as acting president.
- [laughs maniacally]
- Linkara: [takes hat from him] Bad news, I'm afraid. Since I'm the one who orchestrated this operation, it's obviously I who should be president.
- [laughs maniacally]
- Nostalgia Critic: Can I get some cream in my tea?
- Nostalgia Chick: Cream just makes your penis smaller. Now drink your tea.
- Nostalgia Critic, The Spoony One, Linkara, Angry Joe, Nostalgia Chick, Phelous, MarzGurl, Bennett the Sage, Benzaie, JewWario: I believe in Santa Christ.
- Rollo T: But Marz Gurl is a woman too.
- Nostalgia Chick: [chuckles] Sure she is, and I'm the tooth fairy.
- Nostalgia Critic: My friends, this is indeed a great day. We have given birth to a new nation!
- Everyone: Yay!
- Nostalgia Critic: And there will be government. Rules. And a new democracy to live by!
- Linkara: Why a democracy?
- Nostalgia Critic: Because I say so. And I will be your president!
- Everyone: Yay!
- Nostalgia Critic: Nostalgia Chick will be vice-president!
- Everyone: Yay!
- Nostalgia Critic: And the rest we'll figure out at another time!
- Film Brain: Another time!
- Nostalgia Critic: And as my first order as your president. I shall build a table. A round table so that everyone can look at each other in the eye.
- Nostalgia Chick: Hmm. That's a good idea. It's like everyone's equal.
- Nostalgia Critic: Yes! And I shall be elevated above you in a rocket chair! A magnificent rocket chair so I can look down on all of you and see just how equal we all are!
- Everyone: [unenthusiastically] Yay.
- Nostalgia Critic: Make yourselves comfortable, everybody, for we have given birth to the greatest nation ever known! We have given birth TO KICKASSIA!