Terry Crews credited as playing...
Hale Caesar
- Pilar: Who you are?
- Barney Ross: We're Americans.
- Lee Christmas: Since when?
- Gunner Jensen: Swedish.
- Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.
- Maggie: Chinese.
- Toll Road: Retards.
- Barney Ross: [to Toll Road] You done?
- Trench: I need a weapon. Something big.
- [looks at Caesar's gun]
- Trench: Yours.
- Hale Caesar: Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin' right where it is.
- Barney Ross: Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.
- [Caesar reluctantly hands over his gun]
- Hale Caesar: If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.
- Trench: In your dreams.
- Toll Road: [eating some bad food] Oh. This tastes like shit.
- [to Caesar]
- Toll Road: How's yours?
- Hale Caesar: Can't complain about rigatoni. Plan ahead, fellas. That's all I have to say. Y'all, what if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? What would your last meal be? One choice.
- Toll Road: One choice?
- Hale Caesar: It'd probably be cereal for you, huh?
- Toll Road: What the hell's wrong with cereal?
- Gunner Jensen: It's cliché.
- Hale Caesar: You gotta be original. You know, if you were an original, broad-thinking man, you'd probably come up with some special cereal, like Earios. You know, just like your ear. You know, pour milk on them suckers, they just lay there and you don't hear shit.
- Toll Road: For the record, my hearing is 20/20.
- Hale Caesar: Barney?
- Barney Ross: Donuts and most food that kills ya.
- Hale Caesar: That's deep, man.
- Barney Ross: [chuckles] You think so?
- Hale Caesar: Maggie?
- Maggie: Crispy aromatic duck with plum sauce. Very sexy.
- [short pause]
- Maggie: But I like Italian, too.
- Hale Caesar: I'm starting to think Italian's overrated.
- [everyone laughs]
- Gunner Jensen: Hey. What about me? My favorite Swedish dinner would be, baby seal, and whale ass, in the summer.
- [to Maggie]
- Gunner Jensen: But I'd really die for some Chinese.
- Barney Ross: Then you're gonna starve to death.
- [everyone laughs]
- Lee Christmas, Barney Ross, Gunner Jensen, Hale Caesar, Toll Road: Beware, beware, walk with care / Care for what you do / Or mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Boom-lay, boom-lay, boom-lay boom!
- Hale Caesar: [driving around abandoned war-torn streets] This is weird.
- Gunner Jensen: It's like home.
- Gunner Jensen: [the bomb's fuse goes out] Well, the phosphorus must have been damp.
- Lee Christmas: Yeah, right.
- Toll Road: Or you suck.
- Hale Caesar: There's that.
- Maggie: Don't cry, Gunner.
- Barney Ross: You almost had an idea.