David Mitchell credited as playing...
Mark Corrigan
- Jeremy Usborne: Don't worry. Zahra says we have only one fear to fear, and that's fear itself. It's a clever saying, isn't it?
- Mark Corrigan: And what about losing all your money? Or shitting yourself in public? Or the tabloid press mistakenly outing you as a paedo? Or Alzheimer's? Or all of those things, plus you're drowning?
- Jeremy Usborne: Christ, Mark. You really need to grow a pair.
- Mark Corrigan: Of testicles?
- Jeremy Usborne: Yes.
- Mark Corrigan: You want me to grow a pair of testicles so I'd have four testicles and somehow that'll help make me braver and better to deal with stress? Staggering around like a baboon with four balls hanging down?
- Jeremy Usborne: Look, Gail's fucking you over because you're so bloody passive. You need to rip her a new one.
- Mark Corrigan: A new anus? So she'd have two anuses? And then in this mad new world of yours, I'd presumably shove my four bollocks up her two anuses for some unknown reason.
- Mark Corrigan: [at his restaurant job, Mark's boss has just walked in on him trying to urinate into a pan of sauce] Am I sacked? Should I go? I bet I'm sacked.
- Mark Corrigan: I'm just off to Dobby's, and I don't think I'll be needing to be friends with Kenneth anymore.
- Jeremy Usborne: [nodding] OK. Do you think Kenneth might have been made redundant?
- Mark Corrigan: [tapping the side of his nose] Indeed, I think Kenneth can take a hike.
- [Jeremy chuckles. Mark leaves]
- Jeremy Usborne: [to Zahra and her book group friends] Kenneth is what Mark calls his 9 inch dildo.
- Mark Corrigan: Look, you know the actual... The act of intercourse...
- Jeremy Usborne: Oh, my God! You're asking me for sex tips! Pass me the cava and the big pack of Tyrrels, it's a girls' night in!