Holly Sampson credited as playing...
Carrie
- [Sheri Williams comes into the living room and is shocked to see Carrie and Cleopatra kissing each other on the couch]
- Sheri: Carrie!
- [Carrie and Cleopatra stop kissing, turn around and are surprised to see Sheri]
- Sheri: What the hell is going on here?
- Carrie: [putting her clothes back on] Uh... I, um, well, uh... this is your wedding present!
- Sheri: What? Who is that girl?
- Cleopatra: I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.
- Sheri: Right. What is going on here?
- Carrie: Well, um, it's like this: Uh, I overheard you and David talking on the phone about the cosmetic line and you needing a new idea!
- Sheri: Keep talking.
- Carrie: Well, who has better beauty secrets than Cleopatra! So I brought her here from ancient Egypt so that she could tell me, and I could tell you as a wedding present. But she wanted a tribute before she would tell me, so I was just pouting up. That's all.
- Sheri: That's an incredible story.
- Carrie: I know it's an incredible story, but it's true!
- Sheri: Okay. What is Cleopatra's big beauty secret?
- Carrie: Well, I don't know. Cleo?
- Cleopatra: June bugs.
- Sheri: June bugs?
- Cleopatra: June bugs. You take the tiny little wings and crush them into a fine powder and mix them into your base makeup. It gives the skin a brilliant glow.
- Sheri: I'm supposed to tell David that he needs to grind up the wings of June bugs and place them in Maribelle's beauty products?
- Cleopatra: Works for me.
- Sheri: [wakes up after a peaceful sleep and yawns] Wow. Must've been the champagne.
- Carrie: [magically appears in front of Sheri] Hungover?
- Sheri: [turns her head and sees Carrie] What are you doing here?
- Carrie: Well, I thought I would drop in to... check out your new digs.
- Sheri: People usually wait for an invitation first.
- Carrie: Why would I do that? We're practically family. Why pick knits?
- Sheri: What do you really want?
- Carrie: Me? Nothing! But your absolute happiness. After all, that's why I am your best friend.
- Sheri: You were never really a great friend. You didn't even give me a wedding gift!
- Carrie: Well, not yet. I feel bad about that, but I'm working on it. By the way, does your husband know you're a witch yet? Was that not in the vows: "I will take this witch to be my lawfully wedded hag"?
- Sheri: No, he does not know yet. Didn't seem too important to mention it at the time.
- Carrie: Well, I'm sure he'll be surprised when he finds out.
- Sheri: And how would he find out?
- Carrie: I... I don't know, but I'm sure it'll slip out sooner or later.
- Sheri: I'm sure with you, it'll be sooner.
- Carrie: Perish the thought.
- Sheri: Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do.
- Carrie: I can take a hint. Catch ya later, BFF.
- [magically disappears into thin air]
- Carrie: Beauty secrets... hmm. What women have wanted to know for ages... and hasn't been discovered.
- [sees a head statue of Cleopatra on top of a fireplace mantel]
- Carrie: That's it! Cleopatra, the most beautiful woman in history.
- [picks up the head statue and looks at it]
- Carrie: I guess if I found out, that would be a very fitting gift for Sheri and David.
- [Abigail Turnbull watches from outside the window while Carrie recites a magical spell and waves her hand around the Cleopatra head statue]
- Carrie: Cleopatra, Cleopatra, queen of the Nile, drop in and see me and stay for a while.
- [Cleopatra magically appears in front of Carrie. Abigail Turnbull is shocked at what she sees and faints on the sidewalk]
- Carrie: Oh! Wow, I'm good!
- [Abigail Turnbull rings the doorbell and Carrie opens the door]
- Carrie: Can I help you?
- Mrs. Turnbull: You're not Mrs. Williams!
- Carrie: Wow, you're quick. Uh, now what I can do for you, Mrs...?
- Mrs. Turnbull: Turnbull. Who are you?
- Carrie: Well, I'm Carrie, Sheri's girlfriend.
- Mrs. Turnbull: I never saw you come in the house today!
- Carrie: Well, I didn't know anyone was watching!
- Mrs. Turnbull: Well, I...
- Carrie: Okay, listen... listen, it's okay. I understand.
- Mrs. Turnbull: Is Mrs. Williams here?
- Carrie: Well, she is, but she's in the shower. Okay? I'll tell her you stopped by.
- Mrs. Turnbull: All right. I'll come back later.
- Carrie: Thank you.
- Cleopatra: What... is this? Where am I?
- Carrie: Well, it's the 21st century, baby! Like it?
- Cleopatra: Everything seems so strange... so different.
- Carrie: Well, I know, but if you help a girl out, I'll shoot you right back to whatever sand dune you came from.
- Cleopatra: I am Queen Cleopatra! No one speaks to me in this manner!
- Carrie: Oh! I'm sorry, Queen. No disrespect intended. I just haven't rubbed elbows with royalty before.
- Cleopatra: I see. And what is it you wish of me?
- Carrie: Well, I'd really like to know what your beauty secrets are. Clearly, you're doing something that works, and girls this day and age would love to know what it is.
- Cleopatra: My beauty secrets... Now, why should I tell you my beauty secrets?
- Carrie: Uh... 'cause you're a nice person?
- [laughs]
- Carrie: Listen, what can it hurt? I mean, you've been dead for thousands of years.
- Cleopatra: I can never grant a wish without being paid tribute. What is it you offer?
- Carrie: Uh... I, I don't know. I mean, what would make you happy?
- Cleopatra: You are quite beautiful yourself. Your tribute would be... to please me.
- Carrie: Please you?
- [laughs]
- Carrie: You mean, like... please you?
- Cleopatra: You may begin now.
- Carrie: Well... the price is certainly right.
- [laughs, walks up to Cleopatra and kisses her on the lips, then they go to the couch, sit right down and begin seducing each other]