Christine Nguyen: Sheri Williams

Sexual Witchcraft

Sheri Williams

[Sheri Williams comes into the living room and is shocked to see Carrie and Cleopatra kissing each other on the couch]
Sheri: Carrie!
[Carrie and Cleopatra stop kissing, turn around and are surprised to see Sheri]
Sheri: What the hell is going on here?
Carrie: [putting her clothes back on] Uh... I, um, well, uh... this is your wedding present!
Sheri: What? Who is that girl?
Cleopatra: I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.
Sheri: Right. What is going on here?
Carrie: Well, um, it's like this: Uh, I overheard you and David talking on the phone about the cosmetic line and you needing a new idea!
Sheri: Keep talking.
Carrie: Well, who has better beauty secrets than Cleopatra! So I brought her here from ancient Egypt so that she could tell me, and I could tell you as a wedding present. But she wanted a tribute before she would tell me, so I was just pouting up. That's all.
Sheri: That's an incredible story.
Carrie: I know it's an incredible story, but it's true!
Sheri: Okay. What is Cleopatra's big beauty secret?
Carrie: Well, I don't know. Cleo?
Cleopatra: June bugs.
Sheri: June bugs?
Cleopatra: June bugs. You take the tiny little wings and crush them into a fine powder and mix them into your base makeup. It gives the skin a brilliant glow.
Sheri: I'm supposed to tell David that he needs to grind up the wings of June bugs and place them in Maribelle's beauty products?
Cleopatra: Works for me.

Sheri: [wakes up after a peaceful sleep and yawns] Wow. Must've been the champagne.
Carrie: [magically appears in front of Sheri] Hungover?
Sheri: [turns her head and sees Carrie] What are you doing here?
Carrie: Well, I thought I would drop in to... check out your new digs.
Sheri: People usually wait for an invitation first.
Carrie: Why would I do that? We're practically family. Why pick knits?
Sheri: What do you really want?
Carrie: Me? Nothing! But your absolute happiness. After all, that's why I am your best friend.
Sheri: You were never really a great friend. You didn't even give me a wedding gift!
Carrie: Well, not yet. I feel bad about that, but I'm working on it. By the way, does your husband know you're a witch yet? Was that not in the vows: "I will take this witch to be my lawfully wedded hag"?
Sheri: No, he does not know yet. Didn't seem too important to mention it at the time.
Carrie: Well, I'm sure he'll be surprised when he finds out.
Sheri: And how would he find out?
Carrie: I... I don't know, but I'm sure it'll slip out sooner or later.
Sheri: I'm sure with you, it'll be sooner.
Carrie: Perish the thought.
Sheri: Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do.
Carrie: I can take a hint. Catch ya later, BFF.
[magically disappears into thin air]