Quick send the Mary Sue Segal to the CSI teams (he can handle all the teams simultaneously) as he will be able to solve all crimes instantly.
Upon walking into a crime scene he is able to spot clues and tracks inside the shop before he had entered. He is then able to point them out to investigators already on the scene who have not yet died because they have forgotten to breathe since they are that dumb. His ability to process the smallest signs and clues before he sees them makes him a one man CSI lab. Many of the smarter criminals simply just knock on the doors to the local prison to save Seagal the effort of arresting them.
He can spot people hiding behind a hill under a tree that was behind him by his tingling Seagal-sense (Like spider sense but a lot stronger like Chuck Norris stronger).
Gangs are not a threat to Seagal as they will only attack one at a time and slower than Seagal moves. This also means that they will never attack from the rear. At least the criminals are polite when it comes to them getting beaten up by Seagal and don't make him work too hard.
Then when he draws his pistol and used it his bullets are able to defy to laws of physics and teleport straight to their targets. No distance or cover will save them.
The overall acting is a major fire hazard due to the cheap wooden acting which is better than the scrip which looks like it was written by a Scooby-Doo / CSI fanfic writer who simply changed the names from Scooby to Elijah.
So the can out shoot, out fight, out think, barely out act his cast members. He is far stronger, tougher, and barely as fast as his opponents. Seagal has a massive Mary Sue factor in the film. The criminals push stereotypes to new outstanding levels which acts (better than Seagal) as a Mary Sue amplifier. Making his Mary Sue factor even higher.
This is a big call I am making. The only way I think (and I am not even sure he can) make it worse is to have Uwe Boll direct.
