Parasitic

As a young child,i saw tons of movies.The drive-in was my fave.Parasitic is one of those low budget classic's that used to play last.As an FX fan,i liked the shoddy monsters,and have seen much worse.The actors never really seem to get into this movie,and i can see why.the ending,and a bit before boast the best FX,and it did leave me wondering...what the h*ll was THAT ?....you could do worse.This gets an O.K.,not much here,as this is a story we've seen over and over.The good looking people don't stay that way for long,as a small group of people are attacked inside a nightclub by a visitor from beyond the stars.I will most likely see this one on the SyFy channel soon.

Did you expect exquisite acting, a touching story, and a brilliant plot? It has none of that. But if you expected monsters, nudity, profanity, and a little bit of gross-out, then you will be satisfied.

The female actresses are hotties, and the one with the largest fake boobs is topless for most of the movie, even while she has a parasite protruding from her neck and is chasing the humans around.

If you liked "Elizabeth, The Golden Age" and "Sense and Sensibility" and "Steel Magnolias", then you might not like this. But if you liked "Feast (2005)" and Tremors and "Midnight Meat Train", then you might like this movie.

PARASITIC is truly one of the very worst films I've watched in a while and this is from somebody who watches and enjoys a lot of B-movies so I'm not at all prejudiced against them. However, even by genre standards this is terrible, not even in a good, let's-laugh-along-at-it kind of way. Instead it's an amateur hour production throughout, one of those films where somebody got hold of a camera and thought that was the only qualification they needed to make a film.

The entire film takes place in a single night in a locked-up nightclub. The proprietor eats some tainted sushi in a ridiculous opening scene and after ripping off her top and bra proceeds to turn into a cheesy monster that looks horrible even by genre standards. The rest of the film sees her staff members gradually bumped off one by one as they themselves are infected. Apparently, the proprietor is the only one with the key and the place is locked up tight, all the windows are barred so nobody can get out, and there are no mobile phones to speak of. Yeah, right.

Words can't describe how terrible the quality of the writing is here. I've noticed that this seems to be case when a film shares a writer and director; these guys should stick with the directing because the writing is invariably awful. Tim Martin hasn't got a clue how to write realistic dialogue or how to use it to tell the story. Instead we get endless scenes of characters discussing how they should go and investigate instead of actually doing it. It's padded to the extreme.

The whole film takes place in the dark in order to hide the paucity of the budget and the acting is universally awful, not least from Bianca Holland's bimbo-turned-killer. There's no gore to speak of, hardly any effects, just endless stupidity and characters you hope will die in the most violent ways imaginable; suffice to say they don't. Avoid this trash like the plague.

I truly want my money back. This guy thinks he can direct because he's been on the FX crew of a bunch of movies. If the rating system had a zero, he'd be getting that. The acting was awful and the sound man was inebriated or deaf. I bet this would have been a decent B-movie if it had acting talent, directing talent, and a sound man with the ability to hear. But alas, it sucked in all departments. Tim Martin, please go back to FX and leave direction to the pros. It seemed like the actors read from a prompter and just their line for the scene before cutting, there was no chemistry between them at all. The FX was the only thing that was half way decent and it left a lot to be desired, but it at least would get a B rating.

It's not often that I feel physical pain while watching a film but "Parastic" managed to accomplish just that. This is by far one of the worst casts I have ever seen on film. I was left shaking my head and randomly yelling at my TV. I'm convinced that my dog can deliver lines better than this group of so called actors. I have to say that the "Paris Hilton" wannabe was by far the worst of the bunch and hopefully we won't be punished by seeing her in future roles. The sound was horrific, the acting was dreadful and the fact that we are supposed to believe a group of people could be stuck in a building the entire night being chased and knocked off one by one because their boss is the only person that carries the 1 key ever made for this place is beyond insane. I found myself rooting for the monster and looking forward to the next death. If I were Timothy R. Martin I would consider removing the huge "WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY TIMOTHY R. MARTIN" portion that is inserted before the credits in an effort to get as far away from this piece of work as possible.