Kate McKinnon credited as playing...
Mary
- Josh Parker: [re Mary's mini-van] Can this thing handle snow?
- Mary: Oh, please. It's a Kia. It's what God would drive.
- Mary: [enters the empty, now-trashed office] Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, some other stuff. But no Cronuts, that's a bastard pastry.
- [runs into Jeremy]
- Jeremy: I still hate your rules. But your dancing is wild and free. Like an unmanned fire hose.
- Mary: [looks at him below his waist] Put your pants on.
- [turns/walks away]
- Mary: For now.
- Mary: [grabs Josh's arm to stop him from leaving the mini-van] Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there. Last year, I filed a sexual harassment complaint against myself.
- Josh Parker: Against yourself. Mmm-hmm.
- Mary: Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner. And I pretended to drop something on the ground so that I could bend over and graze his butt with my nose. And I did.
- Josh Parker: That doesn't seem that bad.
- Mary: And then I said, "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you."
- Josh Parker: Hmm. That's harassment.
- Nate: [to the girls Tim and Drew are trying to seduce] They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates. They just hacked your Facebook.
- Tim: [to the girls] That's horseshit!
- Drew: Unbelievable. So uncool.
- Tim: [as the girls get up to leave] Hey, wait!
- Drew: No, no, no! Girls!
- Wendy: [to Tim and Drew] I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls.
- [the girls leave]
- Nate: [to Tim and Drew] Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him.
- Tim: Come on, why would we help you, dude? Seriously?
- Drew: Yeah, why would we help you?
- Nate: [grabs Tim by the collar] Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to.
- Drew: [turns to Mary] He can't touch him!
- Mary: I'll allow it.