Rob Corddry credited as playing...
Jeremy
- Mary: [enters the empty, now-trashed office] Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, some other stuff. But no Cronuts, that's a bastard pastry.
- [runs into Jeremy]
- Jeremy: I still hate your rules. But your dancing is wild and free. Like an unmanned fire hose.
- Mary: [looks at him below his waist] Put your pants on.
- [turns/walks away]
- Mary: For now.
- Tracey Hughes: [beginning her pitch for AnyWair] What's the most annoying thing about the Internet?
- Jeremy: Pictures of peoples' kids.
- Joel: Linked-ln invites.
- Nate: My girlfriend's always on it.
- [tries to convince everyone]
- Nate: I have a girlfriend.
- Fred: The lack of Asian male representation in porn.
- Jeremy: Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield.
- Fred: Oh, you know? That orange with the human dick?
- Jeremy: Mary just fucking cited me! Okay? I thought this was a party. If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. That's a timeless gag! Never not funny!
- Josh Parker: [tries to shoo him away] Okay, off you go.
- Jeremy: She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, like, just seeping into everybody's good time. Every word she says makes my fucking hemorrhoids throb! I want that on the record!
- Josh Parker: It is.
- [Jeremy leaves]
- Walter Davis: He's in customer service?
- Josh Parker: Yeah. He's much better on the phone.
- Clay Vanstone: Nobody is losing their jobs!
- Josh Parker: Yeah.
- Clay Vanstone: That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise.
- Jeremy: Your promises are dog shit!