Sand Sharks

Jimmy Green (Corin Nemec of Parker Lewis Can't Lose fame), a con-man always up for a quick buck whom convinces his dad the Mayor to hold a beach rave while sand sharks are gobbling up people, is the one (questionable) slightly bright-point in yet another Asylum made turd. His charisma makes one almost (but not quite) forget, or excuse, how shoddy this typical bad Asylum is. The thing is that it's still better than 98% of what that atrocious studio craps out year in and year out.

I know, I know, not a ringing endorsement but with movies that premiere on SyFy, one has to go in with vastly diminished expectations in order to derive something, anything, good from said picture. Lest we go mad.

My Grade; D

Oh dear Lord, this was horrible.

Well, actually I knew that right away from the title alone, but at the same time I wanted to see it because I knew it was going to be one of those campy movies that make you shake your head in disbelief, and trust me, it did.

The story itself is so amazingly ridiculous. Sharks swimming through sand. Come on. Who comes up with ideas like these?

And the cast, well even though some of them were actually putting on adequate performances, the movie was just weighed down by a poor plot and bad CGI effects.

There are lots of really bad shark movies available on the movie market, and "Sand Sharks" is right up there with them. It is utterly non-plausible and just down right stupid at times. "Sand Sharks" is worth a watch if you want something to laugh at while trying to recover from a bad hang over, and that is about it.

What's next, Concrete Alligators?

Well I certainly don't know the answer to that, and judging by what was on display here I am not sure if the movie did either. Haphazardly edited with cheap special effects, Sand Sharks is a poorly-made film, that is further disadvantaged by a number of other things including a soundtrack that is overbearing and in danger of slowing down the film, a script that is filled with bad puns and unbearably cheesy dialogue, a ridiculous and predictable story not helped by the witless premise, characters that are stereotypical, cartoonish and annoying and acting that is generally over-played and forced. The sharks are not menacing at all and their attacks are not thrilling or suspenseful in the least, plus how they are used in this movie is what makes Sand Sharks so ridiculous in the first place. The only redeeming qualities for me were the idyllic opening shot and the likable enough performance of Brooke Hogan, who managed to be the sole redeeming quality of 2-Headed Shark Attack as well. The rest overall was pointless and too annoying and ridiculous to be entertained by. In all honesty reading the reviews here excusing Sand Sharks' badness was much more entertaining than the whole movie put together. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Damn. I remember when the Scifi channel was a great channel. Battlestar Galactica. Caprica. Classic sf movies. Twilight zone (ok, they still show that). then NBC took over and the channel went down hill, linking up with those losers at The Asylum, where they should all be committed, and showing absolute garbage like this. This crap makes stuff by Shyamalan look good. I'm not even kidding here. Bad acting. Bad SFX, bad story. Bad everything. And then some idiot will say, "Oh it's a homage to the great B's of the past." Ha. These aren't even as good as the trailers of B's of the past. They should all go to Corman school and learn how to do things on a budget. I'm swearing off the formerly known as the scifi channel forever.

Seriously, this is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. Really poor B-movies from the '60s rank higher than this abomination.

I implore anyone reading this before seeing the film to instead, pop down to a DIY store, buy a can of paint. Find a wall in your home that needs some attention, paint said wall, pull up a chair and watch it dry. It's a much better use of an hour and a half! Some positive feedback on the film, there's a couple of stunning ladies cast, pity that their dialogue is written, presumably by an illiterate horse (sorry, I think that's a bit tough on horses).

The location setting is o.k. The script, plot, acting, concept, visual effects and directing though is woeful. One for the Razzies!