John Krasinski credited as playing...
Jim Halpert
- [Dwight walks into the kitchen as Jim puts up a paper that says "Join The Fist" with a picture of a clenched fist]
- Dwight Schrute: Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? What's this? What's The Fist?
- Jim Halpert: It's just a social club. Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking.
- Dwight Schrute: You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion?
- Jim Halpert: Nope, social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion.
- [Darryl walks into the kitchen. Jim puts his fist up and Darryl does it back]
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist.
- Jim Halpert: And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything.
- [in regards to Jo coming in to talk with Dwight as acting manager]
- Dwight Schrute: So I expect you to be on your best behavior, which means none of you will be insubordinate, nor will you foment insurrection.
- Jim Halpert: Question. If we've already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?
- Dwight Schrute: Define "foment."
- Jim Halpert: You define "foment."
- [Deleted scene. Jordan walks up to Jim's desk with a clipboard]
- Jordan Garfield: Hey, Jim.
- Jim Halpert: Hey.
- Jordan Garfield: What are you doing?
- Jim Halpert: Just trying to process this invoice by 3:00. What are you doing?
- Jordan Garfield: I am making a list for Dwight on what everyone's secretly up to.
- Jim Halpert: No, you're not. 'Cause I'm doing that.
- [Jim takes the clipboard]
- Jordan Garfield: Don't you have a deadline?
- Jim Halpert: Well, it's not all about deadlines, Jordan.
- [Jim begins writing down made-up things for Dwight's list]
- Jim Halpert: Does "gorilla" have two "R's"?
- Jordan Garfield: The animal or the soldiers?
- Jim Halpert: Both, actually.
- [Dwight is talking to Jim in Dwight's office]
- Dwight Schrute: Jo is coming later today. I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. Okay? I need you to promise me you'll be on your best behavior.
- Jim Halpert: I *promised* other people that I would be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so...
- Dwight Schrute: Don't make me fire you.
- Jim Halpert: You can't fire me. You're acting manager, not office manager, so you have no firing powers.
- Dwight Schrute: Don't make me pre-fire you.
- Jim Halpert: [serious tone] You wouldn't dare.
- Dwight Schrute: Watch this. You're pre-fired. And when I'm promoted, you'll be full-fired.
- [Jim stands up and talks softly]
- Jim Halpert: If you get promoted. And if you haven't fallen in love with me by then.
- Dwight Schrute: [shocked] What?
- [as Jim, Dwight, and a small group decide what to get Deangelo in the hospital]
- Jim Halpert: All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears, and balloons.
- [Everyone but Dwight raises their hands]
- Dwight Schrute: Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack filled with canned goods, chainsaw, gasoline and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse.
- [Dwight raises his hand, as Jim jokingly looks around the group to see if anyone else did. No one else raises their hands]
- Jim Halpert: Nope. Baskets have it.