Barry Bostwick credited as playing...
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
- Louis: How are you feeling, Frank?
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Like a bag full of dicks at a lesbian convention.
- Reporter Robert Bruckner: What was it like being attacked by a werewolf, Governor?
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: About the same as having your money in the stock market these days.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Beautiful melons, Ma'am.
- Marietta Buford: They sure are ripe for the picking!
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I meant your tits.
- Marietta Buford: So did I.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Hoover was great... they'll probably name a dam or a vacuum cleaner after him sometime in the near future.
- Louis: Here's the paper, by the way.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Thank you. Let's see... Oh, American hero and werewolf killer... Franklin Delano announces he's running for President... Thank you, Mmm-hmm... I hope it mentions something about my cock still working.
- Louis: No.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Well, shit, call them up! I want a press release first thing in the morning.
- Louis: Before we do that...
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Let's leak them a picture, too.
- Guy on dock: Yeah, keep laughin', boys... You think God blessed Tommy?
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Hold on a minute, fellas. Who's Tommy?
- Guy on dock: Tommy? Tommy used to work on the docks... Union's been on strike... Down on his luck... It's tough...
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Sooo tough.
- Cleavon Buford: Congressman Cleavon Baybridge Buford... 'Repube,' Georgia.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Nice to meet you.
- Cleavon Buford: Yes, you too.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Did you just say 'Repube?'
- Cleavon Buford: Mmm-hmm... yes, sir.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: You mean Republican?
- Cleavon Buford: No, sir. The form I filled out when I ran for Congress said 'Repube' on it. It was a professional form, sir. It was typed on paper... maybe even double spaced.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I think you meant 'Repub,' short for Republican.
- Cleavon Buford: No, sir! I saved the form, sir. It is inside a folder marked official on it, so I know that it is real.
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Cut the shit, doc. If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I would have spread my ass cheeks, and stuck a whistling tea pot up there.