Ashton Kutcher credited as playing...
Walden Schmidt
- Walden Schmidt: I've known Bridget since high school.
- Alan Harper: Mhm. High school sweethearts. When I was in high school, I was dating the poster of Molly Ringwald.
- Walden Schmidt: Hey, Bridge, it's me again. What is the name of that shampoo I use that doesn't sting my eyes?
- [pauses]
- Walden Schmidt: Baby shampoo?
- Walden Schmidt: Alan.
- Alan Harper: Yeah.
- Walden Schmidt: Why are you lying on top of me?
- Alan Harper: 'Cause didn't wanna be on the bottom?
- Alan Harper: Why don't we stop and have a drink.
- Walden Schmidt: Drinking is not the answer.
- Alan Harper: No, stopping is the answer!
- Alan Harper: I still have a buzzing in my ears!
- Walden Schmidt: I can't hear you, I have a buzzing in my ears!