Dear God No!

Well what can I say about this one. Being a huge fan of 70's and 80's slasher, exploitation and grind-house cinema I was quite excited when I saw the cover of this DVD at my local DVD store and had to buy it.

I went home that night with high hopes expecting something along the lines of Fathers day or Hobo with a shotgun - was I disappointed or what! While this film had a few slightly funny moments, especially a scene at the end where I had to laugh out loud, I cant say that there was too much else that I enjoyed about this film.

While I appreciate the shoestring budget that they probably had when making this film and I know that I could not do any better, I still found the acting far too cheesy. I know they were trying to get the feel of old exploitation films, however the acting just came across as a high school film studies class project.

This film could have had a lot of potential, however the cheesy acting, the effects and the over use of nude scenes for no reason let it down.

If you take out the nude scenes from this movie ( that added nothing to the plot or film) the film would only be 75% as long. Having a topless stripper dance on screen is great, however to have one dancing in a movie for 5 minutes straight was 4 minutes too long and seemed to me as a way to make the movie more appealing to someone who thinks that boobs in a film make a great film.

I know the things that I did not like about this film are exactly what fans of this type of cinema including myself normally like and are after in a film, however it just did not work for me.

I'll at least give it one thing, I watched it to the end, which is more than I can say for a few troma films that I have bought in the past.

As a self proclaimed expert on biker movies (I've seen them all), this one is totally out to lunch. It's a bad egg oddity that would have to be put into a category all by itself. Caged up and left alone. What makes it different? It's evil. Everything about it is ugly and mean spirited. These bikers are not people you can identify with but they are not really the villains either. These goons are light years away from the cheesy pretty boy or grease monkey depictions you see on Sons of Anarchy or Hell Ride. They're even different than the glorified image of real bikers in The Wild Angels and Hell's Angels on Wheels. They are probably close to the real thing circa The Hell's Angels 1965 than has ever graced the silver screen. These are murdering, raping, filthy mouthed scum of the earth. They party hardy. The film feels like it was made by real life criminals. I would not like to meet them.

Ultra cheap, ultra stupid, the worst bunch of "actors" you've ever seen. This disaster of a movie isn't even mildly entertaining. Even the few gore effects are lame and the topless girls are ugly. The fact that the film was made to look like a 70s biker flick gets boring very fast. Don't waste 2 hours of your life... I mean, 1 hour and 10 minutes of your life with this garbage on celluloid. Anyway, the worst thing is the "creature" at the end of the movie. It is clearly a guy in a very very cheap costume and so laughable it will make you cringe. Sadly, this is not a movie "so bad it's good". It is just awfully bad. Go watch something else!

(25%) A movie that on the one hand is a fair and honest homage to bad biker movies with their dire story telling, terrible writing, and woeful production values that in a parameter of sleazy trash cinema works as an actual throw-back, but on the other hand you cannot help but think that Quentin Tarrantino has a fair amount to answer for. It's clear this in its own way wants to be a bad film taken from within the boundaries of a low budget sleaze picture from the early to mid 70's, but is that achievement in itself worthy of actual merit? I'm not entirely sure. There are times when this does feel like the genuine article, but again is that worthy of merit? I'm somewhat split on this one. Yes, this is a really bad movie, and yes that was the whole point, but that doesn't mean this is 100% not worth a look for the cult fans out there. For those with zero interest in the old, hugely flawed films need not apply.

It was fun for a while, but now I'm getting rather tired of the fad for 'grindhouse' movies, which see directors deliberately striving to replicate the flagrant content and gritty style of 70s and 80s exploitation films. They may boast memorable titles and cool retro poster art, but they rarely prove to be any cop, their grungy affectations and knowing outrageousness being poor substitutes for real talent.

The latest effort to proudly fly the 'grindhouse' flag is 'Dear God No!', a violent biker flick from writer/director James Bickert, who is so intent on achieving his desired aesthetic and meeting his quota of bad taste and debauchery (thereby ensuring marketability) that he seems to forget about trying to make a decent film.

The most disagreeable aspects of the film are not the sex and violence—after all, those who willingly watch this type of film expect, nay DEMAND such excess—but rather the acting, script and direction. Performances range from the bad to the diabolical, the plot is all over the place, and Bickert's visuals display little in the way of originality (unless lingering on a stripper for so long that it actually becomes boring counts).

My rating: a generous 4.5 out of 10 just for the OTT splatter and rampant sleaze—file somewhere between equally disappointing 'grindhouse' efforts 'Run! Bitch Run! and Nude Nuns With Big Guns.