Dear God No!

First of all, I am a huge fan of B-movies, schlock, grindhouse, bad but good, anything with cheese etc. This just lacks character or a spark, the film is one step up from a camcorder film shown in a talent show at a community centre, there is little to no effort put in, the acting is bad, but it's "I don't give a s**t" bad, not "I'm trying as hard as I can, but I just can't act" bad.

Now why did I give it 4 stars, well 3.5 but IMDB don't allow decimal points. Well firstly, it is definitely not the worst film ever made by a long shot, some parts are entertaining with some funny gore/action sequences. A few of the actors put in the effort. Plus, the cover is worth a whole star. A highlight real of the action sequences would have been better, or if it was made as a short film instead, it's too long and starts to grind on you pretty quick. They didn't even have the interest to keep it going for the full 80 mins themselves, how can they expect you to be involved for the set time.

If you're looking for that b-movie gem, stay well away, if you like bad but still bad then it's all yours.

3.5/10.

DEAR GOD NO! is a straight-out homage to the grindhouse flicks of the 1970s; in particular it seems to be a cross between THE EVIL DEAD and a random biker movie. Instead of being a real film, this is an ultra low budget production packed to the brim with outrageously cheesy gore effects, depraved humour, and female nudity.

I found it repulsive in the extreme, but not for the reasons you'd think. The exploitation elements are all well and good, but it's the script that truly repulsed me. It's dumb beyond belief, full of repetitive cursing and nothing else. The characters are portrayed as the stupidest people imaginable, and despite the presence of a large gang of bikers there are no individuals here - they're all a bland, faceless group.

The plot is non-existent and only serves to link the various exploitation sequences. The degradation of women plays a pivotal role, with the female roles limited to monsters, strippers, or victims. Sleaziness hangs over the whole production, and as a whole this is the type of film that nobody in their right mind could enjoy. Rodriguez's PLANET TERROR is still my favourite of the grindhouse tributes in existence and in comparison this is nothing, it wasn't even worth making a film.

I'm sure if you sat down with a group of buddies who all have bad taste and like nasty things then you would definitely laugh out loud at this movie and come away with some good one liners but any one with any taste would think your facked up for even knowing this movie exists. This week must be the week of sh!+ movies cuz heres another stinker. This movie has huge potential is out weighed by the garbage cinematography, garbage acting, and the worst practical effects I've ever seen. I understand that they made this movie crappy on purpose but that just seems to be an excuse for having no talent. Everyone involved in this movie has no talent and this movie wreaks of it. Anytime something bloody happens you can clearly see a hose spraying blood or someone grabs their neck and blood sprays from behind their back. They pretend to do a burnout on a nun and it just looks stupid because they cant even act like they are doing in it. It looks like a bunch of buddies got together and made a movie they thought would be funny and then decided hey maybe other people would like this. Even when they are drinking something we are suppose to think is a dirty tampon it doesn't even gross me out because they cant even act like they are drinking tampon juice. One area that this movie does succeed on however is the dialogue. There are plenty of hilarious one liners, they are just coming out of the wrong people who cant do them justice, tiss a shame. Also the ideas they had for how to push the limits of sleaze are great in theory but don't have the skill to pull them off effectively. I personally love the movies that this movie tries to be but it fails and the only scene that is effective is the rapist orgy where i got so sick of the screaming women that i turned this garbage off. Lets put a little more effort in next time boys and maybe hire some people with talent.

As a self proclaimed expert on biker movies (I've seen them all), this one is totally out to lunch. It's a bad egg oddity that would have to be put into a category all by itself. Caged up and left alone. What makes it different? It's evil. Everything about it is ugly and mean spirited. These bikers are not people you can identify with but they are not really the villains either. These goons are light years away from the cheesy pretty boy or grease monkey depictions you see on Sons of Anarchy or Hell Ride. They're even different than the glorified image of real bikers in The Wild Angels and Hell's Angels on Wheels. They are probably close to the real thing circa The Hell's Angels 1965 than has ever graced the silver screen. These are murdering, raping, filthy mouthed scum of the earth. They party hardy. The film feels like it was made by real life criminals. I would not like to meet them.

Ultra cheap, ultra stupid, the worst bunch of "actors" you've ever seen. This disaster of a movie isn't even mildly entertaining. Even the few gore effects are lame and the topless girls are ugly. The fact that the film was made to look like a 70s biker flick gets boring very fast. Don't waste 2 hours of your life... I mean, 1 hour and 10 minutes of your life with this garbage on celluloid. Anyway, the worst thing is the "creature" at the end of the movie. It is clearly a guy in a very very cheap costume and so laughable it will make you cringe. Sadly, this is not a movie "so bad it's good". It is just awfully bad. Go watch something else!