Kat Dennings credited as playing...
Max Black
- [first lines]
- Hipster #1: Excuse me.
- [while Snapping His Fingers Obnoxiously To Get Max's Attention]
- Hipster #1: Waitress. Dude!
- Max Black: Hi, what can I get ya?
- Hipster #1: We need some...
- Max Black: [Cuts Off Hipster #1 By Snapping Her Fingers Obnoxiously In His Face] Is That Annoying?
- [Continues To Snap Her Fingers In Hipster #1's Face While Talking]
- Max Black: Is that obnoxious and rude? Would you find that distracting if someone did that to you while you were working? Oh you don't have a job sorry.
- Hipster #2: Damn, dude, she burned you.
- Max Black: Oh,
- [Snaps Her Fingers In Hipster #2's Face]
- Max Black: No hipster. No. Do not think we're on the same team we have nothing in common. I wear knit hats when it's cold out, you wear knit hats because of Coldplay. You have tattoos to piss off your dad, my dad doesn't know he's my dad. And, finally, you think
- [Snaps Her Fingers Obnoxiously In Hipster #1's Face Again]
- Max Black: this is a sound that gets you service, I think
- [Snaps Her Fingers Obnoxiously In Hipster #1's Face Again]
- Max Black: this is the sound that dries up my vagina.
- Hipster #1: The other waitress disappeared, the Russian one, we need horseradish.
- Hipster #2: Please.
- Max Black: That ladies is how you treat a waitress.
- Max Black: [to Caroline, pointing to them on the table] Go marry the ketchups.
- [Caroline looks at the bottles and, not knowing what the phrase really means, literally puts the bottles in pairs, then looks back at Max]
- Max Black: Okay, now divorce the ketchups.
- [She starts splitting each pair up]
- Max Black: Okay, stop!
- Max Black: Is this where I am supposed to feel sorry for you?
- Caroline Channing: I mean I don't want you to. But, just so you know, a well adjusted person would.