Keri Russell credited as playing...
Jane Hayes
- Jane Hayes: Sorry. Sorry, I didn't know I became a ninja when startled in a strange place. My father, if he were alive, would die of shame.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: And here was I thinking that any father would be delighted to have a ninja as a daughter.
- Martin: He's still acting. It's just all part of his act. See the costume? He's an actor.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: You're just jealous, aren't you? Because my aunt would rather bring in a complete novice than move some Kiwi actor up to the big house.
- Jane Hayes: You're not British either?
- Martin: It's part of the Commonwealth.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: Couldn't you get a job on "The Hobbit"?
- Martin: That's it, Shakespeare!
- Mr. Henry Nobley: The night of the ball, you said you wanted something real. I'd like to believe that I am real. Is it possible that... someone like me can make you happy? Will you let me try?
- [pause]
- Jane Hayes: No, see, people don't do this. I mean, this is my fantasy... this isn't...
- Mr. Henry Nobley: Have you stopped to consider that you might have this all backward? Jane... you are my fantasy.
- [romantic kiss]
- Jane Hayes: Tally-ho?
- Mr. Henry Nobley: Tally-ho.
- Jane Hayes: Do you really believe, Mr. Nobley, that you can know the worth of a person at a glance?
- Mr. Henry Nobley: Can you tell me that within the first few moments of meeting each person in this room, you didn't form firm opinions of their character?
- Jane Hayes: Well, it would be a shame if my first impression of you proved correct.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: Why are we running?
- Jane Hayes: Because man and woman should never be alone unless they are in motion.
- Jane Hayes: I'm going to take charge of my story. An Austen heroine gets engaged by the end of the book, so that is what I'm going to do.
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: Why don't you go for Captain East? Look how hot he is. And he's a soap star!
- Mr. Henry Nobley: [flipping through Jane's sketchbook] It is curious, however, that there are more of me than anyone else.
- Jane Hayes: I guess I've been trying to figure you out without much luck.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: Surely you've come to some conclusions.
- Jane Hayes: You're the resident Mr. Darcy. Come on, you're every girl's fantasy.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: So I'm your fantasy?
- Jane Hayes: You play your character very well.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: [crestfallen] Right.
- Jane Hayes: Lizzie, you know, I think... I think that Colonel Andrews... I think he, um... that he might be...
- [hesitates]
- Jane Hayes: ... perfect for you.
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: Jane, thank you. I was so afraid you were gonna say you thought he was gay.
- Jane Hayes: Have fun tonight, Amelia.
- [Amelia turns to reveal a bloody gauze patch over her eye, shocking Jane and Elizabeth]
- Jane Hayes: [awkwardly] You look so beautiful.
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: Pirate-y.
- Jane Hayes: But, like, a beautiful pirate.
- Jane Hayes: I can't wait to pick a name.
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: How about Miss Pepperpot? Or Miss Wiggly Wiggins?
- Jane Hayes: Those are - those are nice.
- Jane Hayes: So why are you going to this place?
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: Because I'm gonna look great in those wench gowns.
- Jimmy: Hey, Horseface.
- Jane Hayes: Jimmy, what are you doing here?
- Jimmy: Well, I heard you broke up with Greg. So that means you're free to go bowling tonight.
- Mr. Wattlesbrook: What's that earthy smell about you? Is it perfume?
- Jane Hayes: I'm not wearing any perfume.
- Mr. Wattlesbrook: Must be your essence.
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: Why are we sewing again?
- Jane Hayes: I guess this is how women must have spent a lot of their time.
- Miss Elizabeth Charming: Well, if the men don't come back from hunting soon, I'm gonna ask for a refund.
- Mr. Henry Nobley: I don't know if you realize that it's not proper in this particular time, or any time, for a lady to be alone after dark - let alone cavorting with the servants.
- Jane Hayes: Cavort?
- Mr. Henry Nobley: When doing so might lead to...
- Jane Hayes: Did you just say "cavort"?
- Mr. Henry Nobley: There's just something about that guy I really don't...
- Jane Hayes: Aren't you all righteous concern, Mr. Nobley?
- [sarcastically]
- Jane Hayes: Thank goodness you've saved me from sullying myself with the help.
- Jane Hayes: I only really know one song.
- Colonel Andrews: Play that one then.
- Mrs. Wattlesbrook: Not surprising.
- Jane Hayes: So I'll just play that.
- [singing]
- Jane Hayes: It's getting hot in here, So take off all your clothes, I am - getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off...
- Mr. Wattlesbrook: Still awake, are you? Up to some mischief, I hope.
- Jane Hayes: Just needed some fresh air. If you'll excuse me.
- Mr. Wattlesbrook: No, no, stay a moment. We might engage in a private game of Whist.
- Jane Hayes: Oh, that's a four-person game.
- Mr. Wattlesbrook: We could be partners. Little wink-wink, little nudge-nudge, under the table.
- Jane Hayes: I think I should go to bed now.
- Mr. Wattlesbrook: [grabs Jane] Precisely my point.
- Jane Hayes: No This is *so* not Regency appropriate.