Kate McKinnon credited as playing...
Stella • Eva the Birthday Mom
- Leonard: Hmm... is that what I think it is?
- Stella: That's an egg. That's how are children are born. You guys don't like eggs?
- Leonard: [Sotto voce] I wish we did.
- [Daydream sequence: Leonard is out in a meadow having a picnic with the egg]
- Leonard: Enchanté.
- [pours wine and "feeds" the wine to the egg]
- Leonard: You look delicious, my dear.
- [Leonard skips through the meadow holding the egg while laughing maniacally, then rolls through the grass and points at the sky]
- Leonard: That's us.
- [2 clouds appear in a heart shape, then the big cloud eats the small cloud. Back to reality: Leonard is holding the egg while laughing maniacally]
- Eva: Your Honor, our family has always practiced natural child-hatch; the risks of having a scrambled infant are too great. There was going to be music, the nest was going to be full with beautiful, fresh-cut flowers, and the first two faces he was going to see were the loving faces of his mother and his father.
- [Edward sheds a tear falls onto their hatchling]
- Eva: We can never get that moment back.
- Red: Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be the first face your baby saw. I mean, what are we talking about here? He probably doesn't even remember me!
- [Red walks over to the family, then the hatchling excitedly exclaims]
- Hatchling: Daddy!
- Red: Oh, oh, mmm! Oh, wait. I almost forgot. You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey before I...
- Red: [whistles] split, okay? So, on the scale of one to three stars, what would you say about my performance? And don't forget, the squirrel was...
- Red: [steps on a squirrel; Distorted scream] free... Sorry about this!
- Edward the Birthday Dad: [Distorts] No!
- Red: [Distorts] My bad.
- Red: [Grunts as he stops] Huh!
- Edward the Birthday Dad, Eva the Birthday Mom, Timothy the Birthday Boy: [They hold Red from above their egg]
- Timothy the Birthday Boy: [He realizes the crumb of the birthday cake on the floor and eats it] Mmm!
- Edward the Birthday Dad, Eva the Birthday Mom: [They gasped as Red accidentally hatched their egg]
- Red: [Muffled] Congratulations!
- Edward the Birthday Dad: Huh?
- Eva the Birthday Mom: Oh!
- Red: [gives a thumb up] It's a boy!