DJ Qualls credited as playing...
Garth Fitzgerald IV
- Sam Winchester: Hey. Either of you ever heard of Thighslapper Ale?
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Is that a stripper or a beverage?
- Dean Winchester: Beverage for douchebags.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Hi, Tess. You want to tell me what you saw tonight? Or maybe you'll talk to...
- [puts on a sockpuppet]
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Mr. Fizzles! I'm your friend! Yay!
- Dean Winchester: Garth, why don't we put the sock away?
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Mr. Fizzles wants to help Tess. He wants to listen.
- Dean Winchester: Mr. Fizzles is gonna go where the sun don't shine.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: I'm concerned that Bobby might be haunting you. I brought it up to Dean, and he shot me down.
- Dean Winchester: Garth! Leave it alone.
- Sam Winchester: It's okay.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: No, it's far from okay.
- Sam Winchester: I've already tried contacting Bobby. When that beer disappeared, I pulled out a talking board.
- Dean Winchester: Without me?
- Sam Winchester: You know, I figured, why drag you in... when it's something I could just put to bed myself.
- Dean Winchester: And?
- Sam Winchester: And if he was there, I'd have told you.
- Sam Winchester: Garth, are you drunk?
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Dude, I just drank a whole beer. Of course I'm drunk.
- Dean Winchester: [after Garth chugs a beer] Wow, party on, Garth.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: I don't even usually drink beer. It messes with my depth perception - especially when I skinny dip.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Monster you got to be drunk to see. Cool! Also... hard to fight.
- Dean Winchester: Ahh.
- [Takes a swig from flask]
- Dean Winchester: Just getting in the zone. You are strictly on wine coolers.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Hey, I love those. Anything sweet.
- Dispatcher: Uh, we got another body up here. Guy's torn to shreds.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: [Listening] What? No way. How is that possible? I Garthed her!
- Dean Winchester: [Garth is wearing an army outfit] What, are you allergic to a suit?
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: No. I just... Look good in a uniform.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: The witness said that whatever was chasing victim numero uno was invisible.
- Dean Winchester: Uh, so, invisible ghost werewolf?
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Why'd you think I called for backup?
- Dean Winchester: Beverage for douchebags.
- Sam Winchester: Uh, number one microbrew in the Pacific Northwest.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: But we're in Kansas.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, I rest my case.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Can I have some more Thighslapper?
- Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester: No!
- Dean Winchester: Coffee for you, Tara Reid.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: You sure you guys don't want to hang out? Grab some brunch, maybe some brews?
- Dean Winchester: Tempting but, uh, we better roll.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: All right, well...
- [Hugs Dean]
- Dean Winchester: [Awkward] Oh. Yeah.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Call me anytime.
- [Turns to Sam]
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: And you, Sam.
- [Shakes hand]
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Aw, come here.
- [Hugs him too]
- Sam Winchester: Uh... yeah. Thanks, Garth.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Sayonara, kemo sabes!
- [Leaves]
- Sam Winchester: You're right. He has grown on me.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: I already scanned for EMF
- [Dean takes out his scanner, it starts going off]
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: Oh. Um... I guess mine must be broken again.
- Garth Fitzgerald IV: I feel sad for those brewery dudes. Spend your life beautifying the world through beer.