No Tell Motel

Typical horror film that has a group of 'teens' who wander into an old dilapidated motel after their RV breaks down. But this particular motel houses the spirit of a young tyke who was run over by accident while petting a bunny in the middle of the road. Apparently she's very angry at the dumb way she slipped off this mortal coil and this gang of walking stereotypes is about to pay the price.

Nothing new to see here which could be forgiven for a movie of its type, if it did its well- tread routine with panache or even if the kills were memorable, alas this is simply not the case. No Tell should've been a No Filmed and saved the viewers wasted time and the actors a chance to do something better.

No Tell Motel is a low budget paranormal movie. A group of friends seek haven in a derelict motel after their vehicle breaks down.

Most of the cast seem attracted to this type of movie or equally micro budget action movies. It's a B movie which serves to flesh out Primes catalogue but really, otherwise, doesn't have much going for it.

Writer T. J. Cimfel doesn't give the cast a lot to work with. He specializes in writing for B movies. I've seen V/H/S Viral which he also wrote, and it is on a par with No Tell Hotel.

Paranormal movies are about the jump scare and such movies set in motels / hotels can work. Ti Wests' The Innkeepers or the more recent The Rental directed by Dave Franco prove that there is plenty of juice in the genre. Just not in this particular instance.

The ghost isn't scary; the plot, if not predictable, is certainly undemanding; there is a gross factor but its to do with drug use and rape, not the supernatural; and so it goes.

There is a lack of strong direction from Brett Donowho. He seems to be enjoying more success as an actor having won the odd award here and there. The 'action' is stilted and there is a tendency to the cliched in the unfolding of several scenes.

The special effects are scarce and to be honest when encountered, are a bit hokey.

I feel I'm being pretty harsh. No one purposely sets out to make a dodgy movie but there is, in truth, not a lot to redeem No Tell Motel.

No Tell Motel was directed by Brett Donowho. Donowho that is? That's not surprising if this is the kind of lamentable horror dreck he is turning out.

The film sees a group of teens/twenty-somethings spending the night at a derelict motel after they crash their RV, unaware that the place has a dark history and is haunted by a little girl who was run down while petting a rabbit in the middle of the road. In standard horror fashion, the friends begin to die one by one, but not before we discover their dirty little secrets: hit and run, attempted suicide, drug addiction and rape.

Thoroughly unlikeable characters, zero suspense, a rubbish ghost (little girl with face paint), lame deaths, and a nonsensical plot all go to make this movie a pain to sit through. There's not even any decent jump scares or gratuitous nudity to break up the tedium. This is the kind of rubbish I seem to watch only after I've spent the best part of an hour scrolling through equally dire movies on Amazon -- a choice borne of desperation that ultimately reminds me that it's sometimes best not to watch anything at all.

How do you spell out that sound where you draw in air through your teeth as if you're looking at something that hurts? Ffffff? Because that's kind of the title I was looking for for this review.

Yes, I did think it was that horrible. This was the sort of movie where, after I was done watching, I was pretty sure that I'd just seen the worst movie out of all the ones I've ever seen (that's probably overstating it, but as I seem to have actually blocked out any worse movies from my memory to live in peaceful ignorance, it's all I've got). It's definitely in my 'Top 3 Worst Movies' and it's the 'So bad it's horrible' kind.

So, what was wrong with it?

Well, for one, this was pretty generic both in the way it starts out and the ideas behind it - 'ideas' because this seems to be two generic horror plots mashed together to form one big pile of generic-feeling goo. Generically. Blending ideas can provide exciting new twists and improve the product but not for this bad boy.

For two, it seemed to have trouble finding it's angle. It wasn't really a super slashy flick, it wasn't psychological, it wasn't really anything - just 'blah' (though, on a related note, it seemed the characters didn't have the same problem of finding a type - they were all the classic stereotypes).

Three: THE ACTING. Dear Universe, it was so bad that even I could tell it was bad - and that's how you KNOW you're in trouble.

And lastly, the script. It wasn't a good script, don't let anybody fool you. Some of the things the characters say just baffled me throughout it - whether it was super-over-expositioning something or saying something that just really didn't seem like it fit in the movie at all. Just bad.

Really, a rating of 3< is REALLY generous for this movie.

"No Tell Motel" was an average horror flick. It starts out with the establishment of the urban legend ghost girl in a motel. A group of friends are traveling through the area when they have an accident flipping their RV. With no help in site, they are forced to inhabit a creepy abandoned hotel for the night. As ghostly accidents ensue, and the crazy back story pieces itself together, it will keep your interest. It just doesn't capture a level of skillful suspense, but does bring forth some unsettling elements. The young actress who portrayed the ghost was very good. Come into this with low expectations, and you may be entertained by it short running time of 1 hour and 23 minutes.