No Tell Motel

There's a line in one of my favourite films called Ratatouille (though I feel I'm soiling it by even bringing it up here) that tells us Anyone Can Cook... even a rodent. Well, anyone can make a horror film... even an idiot. But that doesn't mean they should. Especially one devoid of scares, where the dumb people barely react when their 'friends' bite the bullet, and when the 'twist' is like, the stupidest thing EVER in the history of mankind. And yes, we all know little girls who just stand there staring at you saying nothing, are naturally creepy, but overuse this formula and you're liable to be accused of lacking ideas. The dude behind the camera here hasn't got an original thought in his noggin.

It's not big, it's not clever and it certainly isn't the least bit enjoyable. F's all round, and back to film school for you, Mr Wannabe. Sometimes, I think it would be easier to teach a cat to fetch than make a decent scary movie... 3/1

Typical horror film that has a group of 'teens' who wander into an old dilapidated motel after their RV breaks down. But this particular motel houses the spirit of a young tyke who was run over by accident while petting a bunny in the middle of the road. Apparently she's very angry at the dumb way she slipped off this mortal coil and this gang of walking stereotypes is about to pay the price.

Nothing new to see here which could be forgiven for a movie of its type, if it did its well- tread routine with panache or even if the kills were memorable, alas this is simply not the case. No Tell should've been a No Filmed and saved the viewers wasted time and the actors a chance to do something better.

I must admit that the poster/cover for "No Tell Motel" did catch my attention and it was what made me sit down to watch it. Although now I really wish I hadn't. This movie was a complete waste of time in my opinion.

The story is not really particularly great, and it lacks appeal and lacks the ability to captivate the audience. The story seems to be forced together by odd bits and pieces, mixed together with a ghostly little girl. The storyline is somewhat skittish and jumpy, which doesn't really work out to anyone's favor.

As for the characters, well I will say that they were one-dimensional and lacking personality and any kind of magnetism to make you really care about them. They are too generic and shallow, which makes you just shrug on the shoulders whenever something happens to them in the movie. I am sure that the various actors and actresses are good enough on their own accounts, but the characters they had to work with in this movie did them no justice.

Scary moments? Well you have to look long and far for them in this movie, because there weren't any. And as a matter of fact, there were even close to nothing thrilling in the movie as well. "No Tell Motel" is a fairly tame experience for a horror movie, and there are far better ghost movies out there for your viewing pleasure.

"No Tell Motel" was somewhat of a struggle to get through, and more than once I found my attention drifting else where and my eyelids growing surprisingly heavy. This is not really worth the time or effort, unless you have absolutely nothing else to watch, or if you are a hardcore fan of someone on the cast list.

Getting stranded at a roadside motel, a group of friends find themselves trapped in the area by a gang of ghosts looking to change the fortunes of how they died and must find a way of stopping it from happening.

This is an overall run-of-the-mill ghost film that really doesn't offer too much one way or another about providing good parts or bad. The fact that the whole film barely offers up any kind of rational explanation for what's going on really mar this one because it's the one that does the most damage to what's going on here. The brief running time, itself a problem on numerous levels, never gives us a change to get fully invested in anything or even a chance to develop any sort of coherent storyline between what's happening and who these people are that have stumbled onto the secret, haunted location. It's only in the final, closing minutes that something resembling an explanation is offered for why everything's going on and it's tacky, hokey and completely unrealistic in many ways, offering one of the wackiest and most nonsensical explanations ever for what kind of haunting story this really is. The fact that there's so little time to work through things and just spends so much time on them wandering around the hotel itself in their own little groups with their own problems is somewhat boring and infuriating to sit through, and all of these go right back to the film never offering up a lot of explanations about what's going on in here. There's some bright spots, though, with the fact that the opening explanation for why the particular locale is haunted does make some rather chilling moments than what would be expected in such a film as this, and it leads into the explanation rather nicely as it is. As well, there's a few rather intense scares throughout this one as the hauntings come at quite unexpected times and allow for a few chilling surprises to come out. While not entirely flawed, this one does have enough to lower it from it's supposed strengths.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, children-in-jeopardy, heavy drug use and Rape.

No Tell Motel is a low budget paranormal movie. A group of friends seek haven in a derelict motel after their vehicle breaks down.

Most of the cast seem attracted to this type of movie or equally micro budget action movies. It's a B movie which serves to flesh out Primes catalogue but really, otherwise, doesn't have much going for it.

Writer T. J. Cimfel doesn't give the cast a lot to work with. He specializes in writing for B movies. I've seen V/H/S Viral which he also wrote, and it is on a par with No Tell Hotel.

Paranormal movies are about the jump scare and such movies set in motels / hotels can work. Ti Wests' The Innkeepers or the more recent The Rental directed by Dave Franco prove that there is plenty of juice in the genre. Just not in this particular instance.

The ghost isn't scary; the plot, if not predictable, is certainly undemanding; there is a gross factor but its to do with drug use and rape, not the supernatural; and so it goes.

There is a lack of strong direction from Brett Donowho. He seems to be enjoying more success as an actor having won the odd award here and there. The 'action' is stilted and there is a tendency to the cliched in the unfolding of several scenes.

The special effects are scarce and to be honest when encountered, are a bit hokey.

I feel I'm being pretty harsh. No one purposely sets out to make a dodgy movie but there is, in truth, not a lot to redeem No Tell Motel.