Lewis Lovhaug credited as playing...
Linkara • 90s Kid
- Linkara: This one I'm not reading from the trade, since I actually do own a copy of "The Grinning Man". Yay, I feel so "proud". And hey, I suppose there's truth in the title of this one: the cover features a man that's grinning. Mind you, he's also got some kind of neo-cowboy thing going for him and a bare chest for no reason, so there are other descriptive factors to him other than just grinning, but hey, it could be worse. This comic could've been called "The Man Who Shapes His Hair Like Jessie From 'Pokemon'".
- Linkara: [about the Grinning Man] He's the Joker. Seriously, he grins, he tells bad jokes, he kills people, and just look at the face on that cover. He's the Joker!
- Grinning Man: I'm just happier 'n a pig in sh**, I am!
- Linkara: [bored] And I'm as bored as a... person that's bored.
- Linkara: This comic has the most profanity out of all of them. And like a 14-year-old trying to pretend he's mature by writing in lots of swear words, all it does is show how completely immature it really is.
- Linkara: [yelling at the Grinning Man] Scott Ciencin put you in this story to make Whatley look like Lex Luthor by comparison!
- Robert Tower: Abandoned towns can be dangerous places. Drug dealers take over buildings and we run them out. Squatters and psychotics...
- Linkara: Oh, for crying out...! I mean, are they really saying the entire town is abandoned? It's not like Silent Hill was some Podunk, tiny little village, with, like, *three stores* in it that'd be easy for it to become completely abandoned! There were apartment complexes, a motel, a hotel, an amusement park, its own police station, a historical society, a White House, an orphanage, a theater, a prison, two hospitals, and various homes! How the hell is a town THAT DAMN BIG, but it could become so completely abandoned that there's no law and order whatsoever? It made more sense in the games because there seemed to be an actual town full of people that just none of the protagonists could see. And it's not like this is taking a cue from the movie, where the town was abandoned for legitimate reasons. This came out a full year before the movie!
- Robert Tower: Ever wake up, know something was wrong, but you couldn't put your finger on what it was?
- Linkara: [angrily] I CAN! NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!
- [the Grinning Man casts a spell on himself to make himself look more attractive to some women driving along so that they will give him a lift]
- Linkara: Naturally, they find nothing strange about a random guy in the middle of the desert... Maybe they thought he ran away from the production crew filming "Gerry"... requiring a lift to Silent Hill. And really, a lift to Silent Hill? From the DESERT? Maybe the flashbacks in "Among the Damned" didn't take place in Iraq or any country with lots of deserts, but rather RIGHT OUTSIDE THE TOWN, since apparently, in the comics' version of the place, Silent Hill isn't a New England tourist town, but rather SOMEWHERE OUT NEAR RENO!
- Linkara: We open on some guy attempting to perform a magic ritual.
- Man: Azazoth... Protect your servant.
- Linkara: Damn it all, Scott Ciencin! Are you not actually at fault here? Did you submit a script for a "Call of Cthulu" comic and IDW just slapped the Silent Hill logo on it? Mind you, the spelling is off, but Azathoth is the name of a deity from the Cthulu mythos and, assuming this picture is correct, was probably the inspiration for the giant Spaghetti Monster, and considering Scott Ciencin's use of names and themes from Lovecraftian horror, I have a hard time believing that it's a coincidence. Lovecraft and "Silent Hill" are not the same thing! Obviously, some of the monster designs take inspiration from Lovecraft, and you could probably make some other connections, but the common Lovecraft mythos are about ancient, alien, godlike beings of immense power, whereas "Silent Hill" is more commonly about psychological traumas given manifest forms. Both are good, both are scary, BUT STILL ARE NOT THE SAME THING!
- Grinning Man: [having survived a raging fire] Don't need to turn down the heat on my account...
- Linkara: [listlessly] He's the Joker. Seriously, he grins, he tells bad jokes, he kills people, and just look at the face on that cover. He's the Joker! He's also a smug jackass as he comes to a road and finishes his thought.
- Grinning Man: 'Cause you can't get no hotter 'n me...
- Grinning Man: Sheee-**. You're one ornery mofo, now ain't ya? That's okay. Kinda puts a smile on my face.
- Linkara: And puts tattoos on your torso.
- Man: [to the Grinning Man] I'm not telling you anything else.
- Grinning Man: No need. You've already told me plenty, hoss.
- Linkara: [as the Grinning Man] And really, I did not need to know about all that stuff you do with the goats.
- Linkara: There's apparently a wall full of pictures of people who have disappeared in Silent Hill, and the new guy is hanging out in front of it.
- Mayberry: All of you sad, sad people. One by one you came to Silent Hill, and whatever you might have gained, you suffered loss, as well.
- Linkara: [as Mayberry] All you sad bastards who are forced to use breakable weapons. How do you break a katana by stabbing monsters?
- Mayberry: I am one with all of you. And I promise, I will carry each of your messages home.
- Linkara: [as Mayberry, holding his hand to his ear] What's that? No, Mrs. Bernstrom, I will not carry your grocery list home. I don't care how lazy your husband is.
- Linkara: A pity that we're more than a quarter of the way through, and I still don't know what the plot is.