Naya Rivera credited as playing...
Santana Lopez
- Rachel Berry: Okay, you know what, Santana? Finn is in great shape, and your meanness only highlights your own insecurities.
- Santana Lopez: Rachel, your mustache is thicker than a Middle Eastern dictator.
- Santana Lopez: You seriously think you can out-insult me? I'm from Lima Heights; I was *raised* on insults. It's how my abuela put me to sleep at night, and she was not a nice lady. Did you know she tried to sell me once? And it wasn't until I got to kindergarten that I learned my name wasn't Garbage Face.
- Santana Lopez: [after seeing Finn whisper to Rachel during their mashup performance] What did you just say to her?
- Finn Hudson: I said I thought you were great.
- Santana Lopez: [Freaking out] No, you're lying.
- Rachel Berry: No. He literally just said that!
- Santana Lopez: [to Finn] You told her too?
- Will Schuester: [stands up] Santana.
- Santana Lopez: [to Finn] Everyone's gonna know now, because of you.
- Finn Hudson: The whole school already knows. And you know what? They don't care.
- Santana Lopez: Not just the school, you idiot. *Everyone!*
- Finn Hudson: What are you talking abo...
- [Santana slaps Finn and there's silence]
- Santana Lopez: [to Finn] Hey Tubs! Can I talk to you for a second?
- Rory Flanagan: Hey, listen here. You can't make fun of Finn anymore.
- Santana Lopez: [to Rory] Shut your potato hole, I'm here to apologize.
- [to Finn]
- Santana Lopez: Rachel's right, I haven't been fair to you. You're not fat. I should know, I slept with you. I mean, at some point I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who's had one too many back alley liposuctions.
- Rory Flanagan: Whoa.
- Santana Lopez: [to Rory] Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown.
- [to Finn]
- Santana Lopez: I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I'm sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. And also sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you're getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel's coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were him, because if I were her, I'd stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights.