Walden Schmidt: I just wanted to give you a heads-up that Zoey's gonna stay here for the week.
Berta: [reading a magazine] Uh-huh.
Walden Schmidt: And she's bringin' her daughter.
Berta: How old?
Walden Schmidt: Seven.
Berta: See ya in a week.
[She gets up to leave]
Walden Schmidt: Come on, Berta, you'll love her. She's adorable.
Berta: Maybe to her mother. And someone who's trying to get into her mother's pants.
Walden Schmidt: A'right, look, it's not going to be any extra work for you. Whatever Zoey doesn't take care of, I'll handle.
Berta: Really! You're gonna take care of a seven-year-old?
Walden Schmidt: Yeah. We get along great. And besides, I gotta learn sometime. I mean, if Zoey and I get married, I'll be Ava's stepdad.
Berta: Y'know, once upon a time, a cute little boy came to live in this house for a few days. Maybe you've met him. He's the pot-soaked, masturbating couch potato who eats all your cookies.
Walden Schmidt: Is he the one who finished off my macaroons?
Berta: Your macaroons and my pot.
