Lord of Tears

Director Lawrie Brewster's LORD OF TEARS is the story of James Findlay (Eaun Douglas), who has inherited his family estate in the Scottish highlands. Said estate was the source of many childhood nightmares for young James. His late mother even attempts to dissuade him, via a letter left for him, from moving into the place.

Unperturbed, James moves right in... and the new nightmare begins.

First off, let's talk about the house itself, which is one creepy place! The exterior looks like an ancient asylum crossed with a mausoleum. The interior is a labyrinthine collection of tight hallways, countless rooms, and winding staircases. In a word, it's perfect!

Strange occurrences start almost immediately.

Enter Eve (Alexandra "Lexy" Hulme), an American woman who is eager to help James uncover the truth about his past. Ms. Hulme's Eve is a beguiling, playful woman whose every move seems seductive. Her dance and swimming pool entrance scenes are unforgettable! There's something different about Eve. Something mysterious and somehow foreboding. She undergoes a transformation that almost defies description. Ms. Hulme delivers the terror in spades!

Brewster captures a growing sense of dread, perfectly. His film is fittingly surreal without tumbling into absurdity. It's also scary as hell! The house, the grounds, and the surrounding landscape are characters in themselves. This is for those who enjoy the macabre, the gloomy, and the doom-filled.

And we haven't even mentioned the enigmatic Owl Man...

Lord of Tears promised me something unique and terrifying, but it didn't quite deliver what I had been hoping.

For a movie funded by kickstarter and working with a tiny budget, it's well-made. The artistic direction, photography, and everything visual in this film is wonderful. The score is beautiful and unsettling when it needs to be: very appropriate. The concept of the film had so much potential, potential which was completely bunked because of the performances within the movie.

The lead, Euan Douglas, wasn't absolutely awful, but something seemed to be holding him back, causing his acting and lines to appear stiff and awkward and uncomfortable at best. This could have been a problem with script or direction, but I would be willing to bet that it might have been conflict with the second-in-lead, Alexandra Hulme.

Hulme's performance was atrocious. It takes a lot for me to dislike a character which is not meant to be the target of audience hostility, but Hulme managed to accomplish this. For me personally, her over-acting and forced lines and exaggerated movements really tarnished the otherwise appealing movie. Had the part been taken up by another actress, it might have been an entirely different horror movie, but instead, Hulme has dragged my review down to a 3/10, and beset me with bitterness and buyer's remorse.

A lot of people tend not to expect much with horror movies, but the truth is that it's very much an art, as with any other genre. To really scare someone or cause unrest or discomfort, whatever the horror movie's motive may be, there's a delicate balance that must be maintained through visuals, music, and performances. If just one portion is off, it can ruin the experience entirely.

I wanted to like this movie very much. I'm a huge supporter of independent horror and Hollywood horror alike, but as the extensively positive reviews led me to this film, I needed to address it from my own point of view. I don't know where the 8.2 rating came from.

TL;DR: the marketing was brilliant, the visuals stunning, and the score beautiful, but the performance of Hulme just completely ruined it for me. This was not the horror movie that I was looking for, though it seemed to promise that it was.

The only thing horrific about this film is the lead actor. This is unquestionably the worst performance I've EVER seen, in any medium. Just excruciating. Why was he cast? How? And it's not as if the cast as is poor, in fact the quality of the support, (especially Lexy Hulme who was wonderfully warm and quirky and mesmerising) makes Douglas's performance all the more painful. The film's one-way chemistry was so cringe inducing I actually felt like writing to his co-star to apologise. The fact that he even struggles to portray an attraction to the genuinely endearing performance of a pretty girl, is even more damning.

But the massive problem it creates, is that because of the nature of the film, a terrible central performance isn't something you can just overlook. The film is designed to be a haunting, dread fuelled tale about an entity with an owl's head, but all the creepy cinematography, sound design and unsettling visuals in the world are worthless against a lead actor who fundamentally cannot sell any of it to an audience. Trust me, I desperately wanted to love this film, but thanks in whole to the terrible lead, it's nothing more than a huge waste of some really great elements. By all means ignore this review and give it a go, but within ten minutes I guarantee you'll be in total agreement.

Wow. Just. Holy cow, what a cringefest. I mean, I am pretty tolerant of cheese you guys, but this stinks. It stinks. What a tremendously awful film. Almost everything about it just assaulted my senses. To be fair, the scenery was beautiful and the setting deserved a better movie. But they don't get credit for Scotland being cool.

The writing was awful, the plot boring, the acting - dear god. Who are these people? Why are they in a movie? Who let this happen? These characters are zero-dimensional, and these actors should stop. Just stop now and pursue other career choices.

You know when you are watching a movie and it's so bad you are embarrassed when other people walk in the room? Like you have to have an excuse for why it's so awful? This is that. They are lucky Scotland is eerie, or this 2 would have been a 1.

Such a shame, I paid to watch this movie on Vimeo after reading many glowing reports on various horror sites online, but sadly I once again wasted my money.

The imagery in Lord Of Tears is actually quite good, with many shots of dark windswept coasts and old buildings that could have accompanied a great horror flick. But the acting, man the acting, it's like something off a children's TV show. Its really, really, bad. And one of the first shots of the main character getting scared looking at an old crayon picture had me burst out laughing. It was cringe worthy to say the least.

Lord of Tears tries to base its presence on a string of shots that would make great still photographs, and then string them all together with some of the hammiest acting I've ever seen. It's sad indeed they couldn't find a few folks who knew how to carry a film, rather than the ones in this damp squib. It all goes to show you cant take other peoples word for it when it comes to movies. And is it any wonder that people download things for free these days when money is at a premium? If we keep wasting our finances on stuff like this we eventually want to try BEFORE we buy. I collect horror movies, and I have hundreds of Bluray and DVDs. If this had been a good movie I would have bought it to keep, so the reality is, true horror fans will buy movies even if they are free, IF THEY ARE GOOD. So paying for a stinker just doesn't make me smile at all.