Android Insurrection

I have struggled through this, so you don't have too.

This is a poor attempt at a Terminator Salvation knock off. Its so bad. So, so Bad.

The acting is terrible, the CGI is worse, and the story is really really really bad.

It starts so promising with an Android using a Light Sabre and then quickly goes down hill. The ending is disjointed too, and doesn't fit the rest of the movie at all. What were they thinking?

By far and away the worst movie I have seen in a while. The 1.8/10 on IMDb is being far to generous. I'd struggle to give this a 1.

Avoid this movie. Its not good.

A truly magnificent work of unintentional comedy, Android Insurrection is an astonishingly incompetent piece of film making. Sandwiched between opening and closing jumbo-sized slabs of expository monologue, the story is a fairly straight-forward military fantasy. Per contemporary convention, there's an elite team of arrogant meat-heads and hot babes who are the last line of defense against The Threat - in this case, robots. Of course, there are complications, and at least one major character discovery that anyone can see from the beginning of the movie.

Through the course of this tediously familiar journey, the actors stumble over dialog that doesn't serve to advance any story, but really just create argumentative conflict (often, lifting classic lines such as "skin job," and "nuke it from space"). And since we never really learn anything about most of the cannon fodder here, we don't really care when meat hits the fan. Which is frequently.

I'm no military expert, but if I were in a fire fight, I'd probably duck when the shooting starts. But not this "elite team." Sluggishly reacting against computer generated targets that were added later, the cast look as energized as my grandfather putting on the 4th hole at Leisure World. I'd like to blame that all on director Bellware giving his actors nothing but a green screen to act against. But these people can't even carry convincing conversation with one another. It doesn't help that the commanding colonel barks orders with a hilariously awful, stage-comic German accent (and why German, anyway?). But then, there's the red- haired android - a sort of eye-candy slurry of Cherry 2000's Melanie Griffith and the Fifth Element's Leeloo - who combines a clumsy interpretation of robot mannerisms with Valley Girl up-talking. Then again, maybe that really is "artificial intelligence."

In the end, though, there is one nutritious lump in this otherwise thin gruel: the technology design. The non-humanoid robots are really imaginative, and interesting to look at. But they don't carry a movie. Google some still shots, instead.

It was the worst movie i've seen this year. Actually calling it a movie is an understatement, this wouldn't pass as a student film.

The effects are horrible, the maker could have improved massively by just watching any youtube tutorial on 3D and postprocessing. The actors are horrible, unable to even hold a basic conversation in a human fashion. The camera is horrible, capturing willingly minutes of exposition dialog while being unable to show what's happening during action sequences. And the script is horrible as i am still not sure what was actually happening here.

The general plot is very genereric. There is lots and lots of boring exposition dialog as filler. And yet it's so incomprehensive, i i still have no idea how this world functions. Then there are the attempts at drama and conflict, which are all way above what the actors are able to deliver. And the story twists are laughable and predictable.

This movie isn't even bad enough to be hillarous, it's just simply boring. The worst kind.

I can't remember the last time I watched a film this bad. If I had downloaded it illegally I would still feel that I had been robbed! The only slight saving grace were some of the CGI shots, but even those could have been done on a Commodore 64. If I said the acting was wooden, I would be lying, it wasn't that good. The usual story line, "elite fighting unit" (sorry that made me laugh!) battling to destroy an artificial intelligence gone mad. Well it wasn't that smart, it spent the first 10 minutes of the film explaining the film and the last 10 minutes explaining what was happening after. Still, at least I know that I won't see a film that bad for a long time, so things are looking up.

The plot: A team of elite commandos infiltrate an enemy base to extract a group of friendly androids.

I'm really not sure where to even start. Given the apparent budgetary restrictions, any criticism of this film seems almost mean-spirited, but there are so many problems that you'd have to be a member of the cast or crew to like it. Even their relatives probably wouldn't rate it well. I have a high tolerance for low budgets, bad acting, and crappy special effects. I can even enjoy the occasional Z-grade movie. I'm sure that everyone involved in this project is a nice person, and it looks like they probably had some fun making it... but it's just not a very good film.

The skeletal story involves a team of elite commandos who fight against killer AIs and try to extract friendlies from an enemy base. The commandos are your basic B-movie archetypes who speak in clichés and recycled lines from other science fiction films. The special effects are YouTube-level, though they do show a certain degree of imagination. The acting ranged from amateurish to astonishingly bad. Really, I could have handled the acting if only they had cut the scenes of the guy with the fake German accent. There was no real tension or atmosphere at all. I wouldn't be too surprised if this were actually an amateur film that somehow managed to get professionally distributed.

The only thing that would keep this off Syfy is the language, but it would be trivial to clean it up. My guess is that Syfy fans will probably be soon sharing in our collective pain. If you have a high tolerance for Z-grade science fiction (such as Star Trek fan films on YouTube), you'll might be able to sit through this. I did. The ending credits have a kind of cool song. That was probably the best part of this film. Also, some of the cast are attractive. I'm struggling to find anything else positive to add. If all you want is 90 minutes of mindless violence against robots, I guess you watch this, but there are much better choices.