I'd like to preface my post by stating this is my first post. I say that not to be like that corny Facebook troll who gets a hard on with having no life, but to let you understand I created an account ONLY to review this movie in the hopes that I save your eyes the massacre that is this movie. Just like the previous user, I was swindled into watching this movie after hearing buzz about M Night Shamalyan's new thriller, and sat through this Snapchat story of a movie confused waiting for a genius plot twist to make sense of this keyboard mashing of a script. The characters are creepy enough that you're waiting for a murder and the writing is so odd you are anticipating some sort of mental hospital twist. I felt like this was a high school project idea as a scheme to make a quick buck in hopes of pulling the old bait and switch. I've watched paint dry with more character development. I urge you to stub your toe repeatedly for an hour and a half, listen to nails on a chalk board for 90 minutes, or even listen to a Donald Trump press conference as all are somehow a more enjoyable use of your time. I wholeheartedly agree with the previous user's comment that the positive reviews on this post must be friends, family, or blackmailed on a golden shower tape because it is preposterous to conceive any human who could type a review could process this soccer dad trying out his new camcorder of an eye f*ck as anything other than cruel and unusual punishment deserves some sort of an investigation.
P.S. John Oliver, if you see this, I'd love an interview #NatesMovieReviews #HireMe
