Rob Corddry: Lou

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Lou

Jacob: This has gotten bad, Lou. I mean bad like the part in Boogie Nights after Mark Wahlberg jerks off in the pickup truck.
Jacob: I mean here we are with the greatest power the universe has to offer at our fingertips...
Lou: Jacob, I know what you are going through.
Jacob: Yeah, I know that you do.
Lou: Look. You know all Dorchen men end up on a roof at some point in their lives. We party until we want to kill ourselves. My Dad did it, and your son will do it after you.
Jacob: Even grandpappy Dorchen?
[Lou nods his head]
Lou: Jumped off a roof. Survived. Died of syphilis.
Lou: Jacob, how can we expect to find happiness anywhere in time if we just aren't happy people?
Lou: We just do the best that we can!
Lou: [Lou gives Jacob a hug]
Lou: Here comes the hug monster!
[Jacob hugs Lou back]

Lou: We gotta make America happen bro.
Nick: Ready for another dip?
Jacob: [Jacob to Nick] You're not going to be super welcome there but we should totally go.

Game Show Host: Bing Bong. What's the delay?
Lou: There is something trying to kill us here.
Game Show Host: That's ten thousand bolts of electricity coursing through the suits that you're wearing back here in the studio. Every week it's the same God Damn thing. It's guy on guy. Girl on girl. Sometimes it's even guy on girl.
[Audience laughs]
Game Show Host: What is the big deal with the two of you boys sleeping together? You're acting like it's 2010 for Christ Sakes! Now, we got a show to do boys, so start fucking!

Brad: I can't believe I let you talk me into joining this sinking ship. I was one of Engineering Quarterly's: '30 Under 30'.
Lou: Really?
Brad: I was on track to be '20 Under 40', but now I'm 'Zero Under Fuck Me!' You fucked me, Lou. You fucked my whole life. My brother works at the NSA and I work for a madman.
Lou: "Mad Man" is a great show.

Lou: Okay, okay. Looks like you're hungry for an idea. So why doesn't Uncle Lou give you guys a little taste, huh? If you combine the right amounts of nitrotrinadium with specifically heated water in a specialized basin, you get the elements necessary for time travel! Boom! Shotgun to the dick!

Lou: Look, look, look! Dick and balls! You looked at a dick and balls! I burned you.

Jacob: Hey, Lou, what do you think about, maybe this summer, you know, I come work with you at Lougle?
Lou: Listen, this is what I'll do for you, okay? If we ever come up with a division where you sit on the couch and masturbate while playing video games, I'll get you an interview.

Lou: Life is about do-overs, okay? And if you see your second chance peeking its dick around a corner, snatch it! Grab it! Take my advice. Look at the people you love most in this world, then you tell them to go fuck themselves. Because life is about number one. Numero Lou-no!

Lou: So come on, it's a party, right? Let's all get nude and fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Jacob: You're really never going to tell me what's inside that box?
Lou: Okay, we'll tell you. We'll tell him. - I'm going to tell him.
Nick: Lou.
Lou: It's the Declaration of Independence with a map on the back. Our family's chosen.
Nick: Yep.
Jacob: That's just the plot of that movie "National Treasure".
Nick: It's the Ark of the Covenant.
Jacob: That's "Raiders of the Lost Ark". You're not even tryin'. I mean, that's not even anything that could be in the box.
Nick: Okay, this has gone on long enough. Okay. It's a ring that turns you invisible and carries with it the power of evil.
Jacob: I've seen fuckin' movies, you guys! I've seen movies!

Nick: So, nitro is from the future? Like "Terminator".
Lou: Oh, my God. You think everything is like "Terminator".
Nick: 'Cause everything is like "Terminator"! Arnold's hand gets chopped off in the past, somebody finds it, reverse engineers that shit. Boom! Terminators running all around this motherfucker. That's how we got nitro?
Hot Tub Repairman: I don't know. I never saw "Terminator".