Anarchy Parlor

This film is about a shady tattoo parlor you don't want to visit.

This isn't a top notch film but you kinda know that going into it. I'm gonna review it as such. I've seen better but this film is not as bad as some are making it out to be. I think the biggest problem is that it is lacking depth.

The character builds aren't that great. They fall short on really making you invest in the characters. You want to feel concerned for their well being and this don't get the job done. The story should have been played up a bit more. Understanding the "whys" is a big thing for me and I wasn't satisfied. I also wanted to see more evolution in the ending and we were only given a taste of that.

One of the good things about this are that it has the blood and gore that you want from horror. It is also well filmed by that I mean that it has decent quality for a low budget film. I also thought the pace of it was on point.

I liked it but I am willing to give credit where it is due. For a B movie this deserves more credit than it has been given. Don't be horror snobs. You may find that there is a lot of decent low budget films out there if you can stop holding them to such high standards. I'm sure there will be disagree with my review but watch it and judge it for yourself.

Plenty of exotic location and culture to explore, yet Anarchy Parlor still ends up with typical dumb college kids encounter with danger as its main plot. There are so few of likable characters as they are spewing profanities as replacement for acting, these guys are true representative of swag generation. Thankfully, the lead Robert LaSardo is physically and verbally convincing. Fans of the genre might find the gore very uniquely adequate, the shameless fanservice nudity is surprisingly good as well.

Set in Lithuania, a group of dumb college kids fornicate and party a lot until they happen to stumble on a tattoo parlor. The Artist (Robert LaSardo) is strange yet philosophically suave, unbeknownst to them he also harbors a sinister secret. Fans might recognize this set-up from Hostel, and to be frank, there's not much else here. Aside from The Artist himself, the rest of characters are tediously uncharismatic.

Script is filled with curse word as though the movie tries to set a record of cursing per minute. At times these guys and girls make decisions so horrible it's mind-boggling they are not shanked by random people yet. Not to mention one particular girl screamed so unbelievably annoying, I rooted for the bad guy to finish her and end my misery. It's not an understatement that the characters are mirror image of Jersey Shore cast.

What separate Anarchy Parlor are the detailed bloody sequences it presents. Make-up and practical effect like the blood work are disgustingly good down to all the nasty bits. It's not the typical slasher flick mayhem, but a lot more of solemn cutting action, the movie revels in it. There are also tons of sex scene and nudity, which are honestly good. This might just be the level of softcore production value. I guess that merits more point in rating.

As the screenplay is lackluster, a decent performance by the lead doesn't negate the rest of the loud bickering, it's quite hard to recommend this to casual audience. Furthermore, the gore is exclusively sickening. Anarchy Parlor is designed especially for horror fans only, the rest needs not enter.

Grim, amateurish little torture porn bauble set in a Vilnius tattoo parlor, only slightly elevated by a menacing performance from Robert LaSardo as "The Artist." He's the only thing worth watching here, despite the lovely location, which this film wastes. The other performances are so appalling and the dialogue so unimaginative that it's hard to tell how much of it was improvised -- on one hand, I can't imagine anyone writing this garbage out and thinking, "Yeah, that sounds right;" on the other, all the characters (The Artist excepted) sound exactly alike, even with multiple accents, each as aggressively unlikable and inarticulate as the next. A film called "Anarchy Parlor" might reasonably be expected to deliver some inkling of wild imagination, some hint that the filmmakers understand transgression. This predictable, mundane mess fails to deliver.

A very simple 'lure tourists into a dodgy place in order to do despicable things to them' type of horror.

Overall the acting is poor but Robert LaSado is the saving grace here (you might not recognise his name but you've most likely recognise his face).

I mean he can't make you care for the other characters fate of course (being that most of them are such poor actors and very duchy you kind of feel like they deserve to die... in the movie that is) and it doesn't ever really get scary for the same reason (and plot and directing etc of course as well) but Robert LaSado is an effective bad guy and with any lesser actor this could have flunked completely.

But the Gothic atmosphere is pretty cool as well, and plenty of eye-candy (the women most likely got their roles for their willingness to appear nude more than their acting-abilities... but then they are no worse than the other guys).

So yeah definitely nothing you need to see but nothing you have to absolutely avoid either, if it's on TV one late night or so.

This movie has poor IMDb ratings. However, it is actually much better than it's rating might suggest. If your a horror movie watcher, you'll probably rate this movie higher than the general viewing public. No it isn't anything stellar but it held my attention the whole time and entertained me. This is what many people consider Torture porn and is definitely not for the squeamish. Much like the Hostel movies, most can take only so much of movies like this. This movie isn't without some merits though and a decent plot and ending. It is also an under-watched movie which perhaps merits more notice.

If you liked Hostel and can watch/stomach a couple scenes that definitely qualify as torture, you might give it a watch. The story isn't bad.