Roy

First things first, this is not a Ranbir Kapoor movie, he is in an extended cameo, so don't get fooled by all those posters and advertisements. If you watch this movie (which I suggest you shouldn't) you will actually be thankful that this is not a Ranbir Kapoor movie, because nobody wants a brilliant actor like Ranbir to be associated with a movie so pathetic and dragged that for a minute you actually start thinking Dhoom 3 was a watchable movie. Its really tiring to sit through the 150 minutes, I actually went out of the theater twice. There is nothing good happening in the movie, there is only the long shots, the gloomy colors, the monotonousness of the frames, the dragged plot. The actors do nothing except sit and exchange philosophical disclosures that has nothing to do with the film. Both Arjun Rampal and Jacqueline Fernandez are supposed to be film-makers who are making their own films, but still what all we see is them roaming here and there, drinking wine and singing and partying (this is precisely the reason why we are getting such horrible movies from bollywood nowadays).

Even after watching the movie I am not quite sure about what really was the motive behind the movie (none as far as I can see), it might also be because I did not care at all for the movie after an hour or so, I was just sitting there because I had paid for the film.

To anyone who is thinking of going to watch this movie, take a pair of headphones you will need them or rather do not go, wait for a while and soon it will premiere on TV.

The cast and the music had a magnetic effect on me. But once the film reel began rolling, I was experiencing symptoms of depression and schizophrenia.

Roy starts and ends on one single note: blankness. While I am still trying to figure out what the writer intended by conveying such a senseless story, I have not yet recovered from the trauma I had after sitting through two and a half hours of nothingness. Vikramjit Singh's characters are pretentiously polished: Arjun Rampal as an arrogant writer and director who uses a typewriter, Jacqueline Fernandez as a book-loving, reserved filmmaker, and Ranbir Kapoor as a (mute) thief who drives around in a convertible, you know, for the effect. Yes, Kapoor has a total of fifteen dialogs (including "Ooh," "Aah," and "Aao") in the film. (Also, if you observe, the beginning credits introduces Kapoor to be in a "dynamic role." What does the director mean by this? If ever I meet the amateur Vikramjit Singh in a coffee house, I'll make sure that I ask him this question and write a piece about it verbatim.)

The thief in the film introduces himself as a thief so that we don't misconstrue the makers as thieves for robbing us off through the ticket costs. This happens in less than twenty minutes into it, and I did not need any more proof to consider how bad the film was gonna be. Even if I forgo the snail-paced narration, I cannot forgive Singh for botching up the screenplay. It has the worst screenplay I have seen all this year, and it is a good thing from a Bollywood point of view. The story constructed is so choppy, I bet you will turn to your therapist after watching it.

Bad cinematography and good photography mix together and bring out blues in the exotic locales the film has been shot in. The dialogs are plain bad, and so is the cast performance. Only Rampal comes out as an average player.

If you want me to tell it, then, yes, the music and songs are good. Period. But the score is repetitive, often sampling many of the songs' melodies. I bet most of us have seen the best parts of the movie in the trailer, and if you were to divide Roy, as a film, into two parts: one as the trailer, and one as the film intrinsically, you would have two polarizing videos.

BOTTOM LINE: There is not an iota of thrill in the storyline, nor is the story fathomable. Roy only looks good in the trailer, and for a moment there, I even thought the whole film was a tediously long advertisement for Godrej lockers and CCTV cameras. Regretlessly Avoidable!

Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES

Why did I watched Roy... mostly because of my trust on Ranbeer Kappor... But then I asked myself what is he doing in such a movie. Then I asked what is anybody doing in this movie... and then I asked what am I doing in the theatare. But in spite of repeated temptations to leave the theatare, I survived till the end, mainly because I hoped something will happen. but that's the trouble. Nothing at all happens in the movie. From start to end, in most of the scenes there is only one character on screen, generally smoking or drinking. the dialogues and monologues(there are a lot of monologues) are not natural. A lot of scenes, if not all, are unnecessary. there are hardly 4-5 characters in the movie (including both real and imaginary characters), out of which 2 are played by Jacklin. First Jacklin is the sri lankan beauty we know ( that came as a relief) other Jacklin is wearing some kind of makeup which is making her look like a vampire. Songs are good... but their placement is so abrupt in the two and a half hour movie , and you are so bored with the movie that you can hardly enjoy them. Locations are good, but monotonous dark and gloomy picturization spoils them too. I can understand that the director did not wanted to make a Bollywood masala movie, but trust me, this movie is not above Masala, This is way below Masala. Conclusion: Don't watch this movie even if you are paid for it.

Trailer and promo were reflecting that there is some mystery and thrill but after fifteen minutes of film you get the sense that there is nothing, you are victim of a boring stuff in the name of creativity. This is complex representation of a simple and many time seen concept. There is a dialogue in film that says that there is a type of film, which is only made for the sake of makers, without caring of audience, this line is appropriate for this film itself. Complete film is full of parallel cuts without any story line and emotions. It must have sounded fancy just at the idea level. Good actor Ranbir Kapoor gone waste. He had nothing to do. Sometimes I couldn't understand that what push them to do such type of film. Arjun Rampal is OK. Hindi does not suit a bit to Jacqueline Fernandez but she had make to speak difficult words even when it was not required for her character. It irritates more than her performance less acting.

This is my first review. I had to write it because this is the movie I stepped out of in an hour even when I had no other plans. It's awful.

• Fake accents dripping into Hindi as well - Arjun Rampal could have been replaced with a cactus with zero change in the quality of cast (really) - Again, atrociously incorrect fake accents - Dialogues so cheesy and dumb that you will get tired rolling your eyes.

• Arjun Rampal's character was trying to be as witty as Dr. House failing miserably.

• I can't say how bad the story was because, like I said, I left the cinema after an hour of sheer torture.

Take your money and meticulously tear it into 100 small pieces. You'll get more mental stimulation from that than watching this movie.