Animal

I didn't expect much from "Animal" and pretty much knew from beforehand that it was going to be a derivative and unoriginal backwoods creature-feature. And yet I still very much wanted to see it. Why? Because I previously watched writer/director Brett Simmons' 2011 horror film "Husk" and, even though that one was derivative and unoriginal as well, it was also an unpretentious and incredibly fast-paced horror throwback with some good moments of suspense and many grisly images. And guess what? "Animal" is exactly the same! I've rarely seen a more clichéd plot or more stereotypical characters, but at least the film is never boring and contains several good action sequences. A bunch of twenty-something friends head out for a weekend in the woods, in a remote area where one of them used to spent her summer vacations with her parents. Whilst still hiking, they are confronted with an unknown but extremely aggressive and ravenous type of predator that chases them into a ramshackle cabin. There, they are united with three others that are hiding from the monster. Various plans to outsmart the monster fail and meanwhile the intrigues between the dwindling group of survivors inside the cabin pile up. The script never bothers to explain what of monster/animal these poor suckers are up against. The beginning briefly hints at military involvement, when the group finds a soldier's backpack in the woods. The predator could be an experiment gone wrong, but it could also mean that someone had already tried to destroy it through military force but failed. We don't know and, frankly, I don't care because the creature is nicely gruesome and bloodthirsty. The kills could have been more rancid and gory as far as I'm concerned, though. I must also be getting very old, because I'm reading a lot of praising comments about the famous cast members, particularly the two leading ladies (Keke Palmer and Elizabeth Gillies) and some girl that has a very brief cameo at the very beginning, yet I don't know any of them. The only familiar face that I spotted was that of Joey Lauren Adams, and I know her because she starred in Kevin Smith's comedies back in the '90s… Yep, I must be getting very old.

Animal doesn't have much substance as a horror movie. It's your typical "teenagers lost in the woods and are getting picked off one by one" story, except instead of a machete wielding maniac chasing them it's an Alien-Predator-hybrid animal that has a taste for human meat. For what it is, it's a fun watch - it's exactly what you'd expect from a B-movie called "Animal".

I can't score it any higher because it gets zero points for originality and I can't score it lower because it doesn't try to be anything more than a schlocky monster movie. It's surprisingly cohesive writing-wise, and is definitely more watchable than half the F13 entries. Elizabeth Gillies' ear-piercing screams are annoying yet hilarious and add some extra zest once her friends become fodder to this unstoppable beast.

Overall Animal achieves exactly what it sets out to, but its sights weren't aimed high in the first place. It's a clear homage to old-fashioned monster movies with lots of campiness, cheesy special effects, blood and guts aplenty, and a handful of scares that catch you off-guard. All you can ever want in a B-movie romp-fest.

It's not that it is really bad, it's that it is a cliché from start to end. You've got the group of young people in the woods, all the archetypes in: manly guy, gay guy, black girl, smart person, bitchy person, insane person, etc, their characters barely sketched. And then a nondescript monster, bipedal, bald head, with really long and probably ineffectual teeth, a mane!, nobody bothering to even explain where it came from.

And then it starts, the story I mean. Only there is no story. They all act like it's "just an animal" so their solution is not to trap it and kill it, instead to just go out and try to "run for it". Their only displays of courage is when they have to fight each other.

Bottom line: the same movie, the same lame effects, the same script, the same bad actors. You've seen it before unless you are really young. And then you should watch something better, just because there are so many better genre films.

The only possible reason one would watch this is to see Eve (yeah, the singer) being killed in the beginning of the film.

A group of five twenty-somethings head out into the deep woods for what seems to be a hundred mile hike. When night falls, they realize that something big, hairy, and extremely dangerous is in the forest with them. Blood-spraying death soon follows.

Finding an occupied, barricaded cabin, the hikers take refuge with the three already inside, while the beast terrorizes them. Of course, all is not as it appears to be, and secrets are being kept.

ANIMAL is a monster movie, plain and simple. The plot is basic. The characters are disposable. What makes this movie watchable is the -practical effects!- creature of the title. Underused, it is a welcome sight whenever it shows up to grab another tasty human to snack on!

For lovers of the genre...

Passable acting, passable action, passable script. Plot... well, it is a predatory animal in the forest survival horror, and how much of a plot would you usually expect? As usual the heroes (fodder) are a little on the dim side, forgoing (as is too often the case) arming themselves and trusting far too much in defense, defense, DEFENSE as they get picked off, but while there is nothing exceptional here there is also nothing that is a total deal breaker for the genre. The only really redeeming thing is there is a decent job of effects. Considering the low budget they did not do a bad job with that. All in all it is worthy of a watch if you are bored and have nothing better to do, but don't take that as a recommendation either... in the end it is still just passable.