Charlie Day credited as playing...
Charlie Kelly
- [in overly patriotic denim garb]
- Mac: Good call on these outfits, dude.
- Charlie Kelly: It's the only call.
- Dennis Reynolds: Hey, Frank, why do you have a truck full of water filters? All right, you know what, I don't give a shit. Let's get down to that rally, man.
- Frank Reynolds: Rally?
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah.
- Dee Reynolds: Yes, the freedom rally, the one you organized.
- Frank Reynolds: Ooh, shit, I'm not gonna go down there. There's gonna be a buncha nuts with guns. Too dangerous.
- Charlie Kelly: Wait, hold on a second, what's goin' on? I thought you were into guns, you know? Why have you been on TV talkin' about all that shit?
- Frank Reynolds: I bought a stake in Gunther's Guns. I got everybody angry and scared, they bought the guns, I made a fortune.
- [he shrugs]
- Dennis Reynolds: Oh, my God, this is crazy. So you don't give a shit about the gun issue at all?
- Frank Reynolds: Ehhhh...
- Dennis Reynolds: I mean, what the hell? You're like the NRA.
- Frank Reynolds: Yeah, little bit like the NRA, little tiny bit. But I-I think of myself more like Al Gore, you know? He got everybody all worked up over global warming, then he made millions.
- Mac: Huh?
- Frank Reynolds: Yeah, everybody does it. Liberals, conservatives, doesn't matter. This is America. You're either a duper, or a dupee. I'm a duper. You guys are the dupees.
- [he smiles]
- Mac: Are there any questions?
- Cool Kid: Yo, can I get some beer?
- Mac: No beer.
- Charlie Kelly: No... We said it, like, a million times.
- Mac: Guys, how many times do we have to be through this? No beer, okay?
- Charlie Kelly: All right, you know, you can't drink beer and be effective.
- Cool Kid: But you guys had, like, five.
- Mac: Don't count beers, Carlos. Not cool.
- Charlie Kelly: Yeah. And by the way, Carlos, I've had six.
- Mac: And I've had seven.
- Charlie Kelly: So don't be a rat, okay? And if you are gonna be a rat, get it right.
- Mac: No more questions. In fact, no more questions.
- Cool Kid: You guys are the ones that asked for the questions.
- Mac: Shut up, Carlos!
- Charlie Kelly: Carlos, shut up!