Christmas Belle

This movie is one-of-a-kind, in that it's the only movie I've ever watched where the "music" never stops and is far too loud to be background music. If you love listening to painfully sad slow piano and strings while trying to watch a movie, you'll love this film. It's like having the radio tuned to the easy listening station with the volume on 11, while watching a poorly scripted movie on the TV with the volume on 1.

Here's a basic rundown of the storyboard... 30 seconds of stale uneventful dialog (with loud background music) followed by 5 minutes of location shots and actors giving thoughtful heartfelt looks or running shirtless through the field (with even louder background music). Repeat throughout the rest of the movie.

On the good side, it would be useful for inducing a coma.

I love holiday romance movies. This one was a disappointment. It was so formulaic that I called out the next action before it happened. The actors were interesting and the boys are pretty. The scenery was gorgeous. The music was the typical holiday romance music, but rather than enhancing the romance, it seemed to try and replace what was missing in the story and rather distracting.

A tighter script with fewer distracting side stories and better editing could have made this one I'd want to watch every year. Also, better character development would have been helpful for the lead and the anti-hero guy who was nothing more than an annoying plot point (despite the pretty).

The story kept my attention, although the script was awkward and stilted. But the music during the ENTIRE movie was so invasive it ruined the movie. The male lead was attractive and Duff was refreshing because she is a normal weight woman, not a stick figure. The setting was beautiful.

I like holiday movies and I like "Bad" movies as most have redeeming qualities. However, this slice of festive fun is neither festive or fun. The story is loosely based on Beauty and The Beast. Sadly, when The Beast isn't a Beast, just a man whose beastly, then it becomes difficult to have the love interest fall for a man, who shouts at her, degrades her, and lashes out at her.

However, this gaping whole in the script isn't the only let down. The acting is below average. Even C Thomas Howell cannot lift the cast... to be truthful he takes it a bit further into the quagmire; his high-pitched effeminate portrayal of the father is cringeworthy. It made me smirk the first time I heard it, but by the end of the film I'd had enough. Which is a shame as I think C Thomas Howell is a pretty decent actor.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone.

Okay, this was clearly "Beauty and the Beast." Lots of easter eggs - girl named Belle who lives with her father, arrogant suitor, big house with scary reclusive owner, roses in a private room, gorgeous home library, even fancy candlesticks. I don't mind a variation on an old story. Shaw wrote "Man and Superman" based on the Don Juan myth, and it came out great.

But you have to breathe some life into it.

This movie had almost no emotional range, very shallow characters, monotonous music that played again and again in scenes that it clearly did not suit, amateur photography, and scenes that just dragged on and on with no apparent aim. Take for instance a scene where Belle digs up a homemade edition of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" that Hunter put together himself when he was seven. And he sits and reads it to her, and we just hear him reading it. We don't even get to see the book itself, which could have added a personal touch to the scene. We already know how "Twas the Night Before Christmas" goes! We don't need to hear him read it - unless he read it in such a way to imply that he felt a personal connection to the story, which he didn't.

Belle's father was a complete twit. This feels like a step down from the other versions of "Beauty and the Beast," where the father at least knew how to take care of himself. And Tony, the "Gaston" figure, was a self-righteous, self-obsessed, self-deluded dunderhead. Anyone can see that. And yet, somehow, Belle's father and Hunter both trust every word Tony says, whenever they need to believe him in order for the plot to go in a certain direction. Lazy writing.

Some bad movies can shock you (i.e. "Birdemic," "Garbage Pail Kids"). This movie was just plain boring. We knew it was based on the fairy tale, so we knew how it was going to play out, and it did not give us one surprise. The dog was cute. It's a bad sign that the dog outperformed everyone else.

If you can't be original, then at least try to understand what made your source material interesting in the first place. What do Belle and the Beast believe in? Where are they coming from? A derivative story can branch out experimentally ("Hoodwinked," from "Little Red Riding Hood"), or it can examine its roots ("Ever After," from "Cinderella"). This movie does neither, it just trims away any fantastical elements and then tells a minimalist, impersonal story that is as forgettable as it is harmless.