Eric Mabius credited as playing...
Oliver O'Toole
- Oliver: The thoughtfully composed, well considered addressed stamped, professionally postmarked and personally delivered letter is still the gold standard of human intercourse. God is in his universe and all is right in the world.
- Oliver: Sometimes I wonder who mailed the first letter? Who was that brave soul who put a stamp on an envelope and released it into the world, trusting a stranger to deliver it across the miles and across time? In this new world of instant replies and causal deleting what I love about my work is I can hold a letter, a real letter, in my hand and be that stranger who's sole mission-
- [Oliver's thoughts are interrupted]
- Oliver: There it is, a beacon of hope to those who still put their faith in the power of a piece of paper and a 46 cent stamp. And behind every letter stand thousands of dedicated heroes who still fight the good fight through rain and snow and fiscal cliffs to deliver every note, every card, every letter, and I am one of them. The few, the proud, the postal. I work for you, whoever you are, or whoever you were.
- Barista: Next!
- Oliver: Yes I'd like a cup of coffee.
- Barista: Aspen, Vail or steamboat?
- Oliver: I'm sorry, I'm not following?
- Barista: Small, medium or large?
- Oliver: Oh large, large coffee.
- Barista: Right, which coffee?
- Oliver: Uh, what do you recommend?
- Barista: Everything's on the board.
- Oliver: This is my first visit frankly I wouldn't be here at all if my coffee machine hadn't been illegally appropriated after an unfortunate war of words with my superior, well I wouldn't really call her my superior...
- Shane McInerney: [From behind] Excuse me, could I just give him my order while you're reminiscing, i'll even pay for your coffee if you just let me go ahead of you.
- Oliver: [Takes a step back] Be my guest.
- Shane McInerney: Sorry, it's just I'm late and it's my first day at my new job.
- Oliver: At least you're employed.
- Shane McInerney: [to the barista] Aspen skinny vanilla latte...
- Oliver: [Looks at the people sitting around them] Rather than sitting over there just staring off into cyberspace...
- Shane McInerney: ... He'll have a steamboat Americano.
- Oliver: What is that?
- Shane McInerney: Large black coffee.
- [Looks at the people Oliver was referring to]
- Shane McInerney: Most of those people actually are employed, they're just working from home... theoretically.
- Oliver: Someone pays them... theoretically?
- Barista: [Before Shane can answer] Aspen skinny vanilla latte... and a steamboat Americano.
- Shane McInerney: Gotta go.
- [Hands the barista money]
- Shane McInerney: Keep the change.
- Oliver: [Picks up the coffee] Thanks.
- [a few minutes later when Oliver arrives at work]
- Andrea Shmeckle: Oliver. I want you to train this girl she's a computer something from Washington.
- Oliver: No.
- Andrea Shmeckle: I will fire you.
- Oliver: I have a government service pay level higher than you can count.
- Andrea Shmeckle: I will take your refrigerator.
- Oliver: You will return my Mr. Coffee.
- Andrea Shmeckle: [They stare each other down, she gives in] Done.
- Oliver: Send her in.
- Andrea Shmeckle: [Hands Oliver a file and then shouts behind her] McInerney!
- Oliver: [Shane walks into view] It's you!
- Shane McInerney: Mr. Steamboat... incredible.
- Andrea Shmeckle: You know each other?
- Oliver, Shane McInerney: [In unison] Theoretically.