Assassin

Review: I don't think that you will be that surprised that I didn't really enjoy this movie. It seemed quite cheap and the storyline wasn't that great. Its about a hit-man (Dyer) whose been hired by the Kemp brothers to take out a business man who cheated them out of there money. While Dyer is scoping his victim, he falls in love with a club dancer who happens to be his victims daughter. When he finally takes care of business, her identity comes to light and she starts to put the pieces together to try and find her father's killer. The Kemp brothers don't like the fact that she is meddling in there business so they hire Dyer to take out the girl, which he is reluctant to do. They then flee from London so she can be safe, but they soon get hunted down so Dyer has to use his skills to protect the girl and his own life. It was good to see the Kemp brothers together again, after the brilliant Krays movie, but this movie was terrible. I predicted what was going to happen, right from the beginning of the film so the storyline wasn't that great. I've seen Dyer play these type of roles, many times before so his performance was average but the Kemp brothers were great. I found the girl quite annoying after a while and the awful music all the way through the film didn't help. At the end of the day, it's just your everyday Dyer movie. Poor.

Round-Up: After watching this film, I really can't see were the budget went. It's filmed around London but most of the scenes are in houses or in a nightclub. Anyway, I honestly think that Dyer going into Eastenders, was the best thing for his career because his movies are really poor. There's only a handful of movies that were really good in this genre, like the Business, Sexy Beast and Essex Boys but there isn't anything original coming from the UK. I rate Dyer for not going to Hollywood to try and make a big name for himself and he has kept true to his acting abilities but he has really hit a dead end when it comes to the movies that he chooses. I'm glad that they stopped bringing out all of the football hooligan movies because they were getting a bit tedious and there's not that much range for movies in that genre. The problem isn't only in the UK! We have hit the time of the remake in Hollywood which has made some of the big actors only take original projects. That means that we have a flood of new actors who can't really act or haven't got any screen charisma. Anyway, in this movie it really is the Kemp brothers who show professionalism and steal the screen. I just hope that they take on more projects in the future.

Budget: $3.5million Worldwide Gross: N/A

I recommend this movie to people who are into their English gangster movies about a hit-man who is given a job that he is reluctant to do. 2/10

After years of using IMDb, this will be my first review, and I'm gonna keep it short. I only wanted to review this because of the misleading 7.1 rating it somehow has, I honestly don't know how that's possible. This has to be in my top 5 of worst movies I've ever seen. I'm a big fan of Danny Dyer, but I'm sorry Danny, you were dyer. The acting was terrible from the whole cast, poorly written dialogue and totally predictable. There wasn't one moment in the film I thought was good, avoid wasting an hour and twenty minutes of your life and instead, go clean the kitchen, it will be much more enjoyable and rewarding when you finish.

I don't know what fills me with despair more - the fact that Danny Dyer keeps making " movies", or the fact that I keep watching them.

Anyway in this one Danny plays Danny Dyer pretending to be a hit-man ( zzzz) who falls in love with...I've lost the will to go on and this is just the synopsis on the DVD box.

Anyway Danny is in this, along with that Kemp from eastenders . and his brother ( no, not Steve Mcfadden the other one). Danny spends much of the movie riding about pointlessly on a motorbike. Well I suppose the running time has to be padded out somehow.

There is little action and no suspense. After a dull action scene in which Dyer wanders about without taking his crash helmet off ( like a less animated version of the Stig with a lisp), he receives a summons to meet gangland heavies martin kemp and his brother ( not Phil Mitchell). After a cheeky nandos and some top bantz wiv da lads, Dyer gets the info on his next execution..and from there things begin to get interesting . ( if by interesting you mean predictable, boring and idiotic).

As usual Dyer looks bored and vaguely resentful, martin Kemp looks grateful to be earning enough to pay for hair dye, and everyone else seems to be auditioning to be an extra in The Walking Dead.

There is nothing that resembles a plot or a denouement.

Insert your own joke about Danny Dyer and "helmet". I can't be bothered.

Curiosity got the better of me as I ignored the negative comments and low rating to watch this disappointing and woeful gangland thriller. Danny Dyer will probably take the heat for this dud but that's not fair on him because given the right director and script he can show he can be a compelling actor. A director like Nick Love (Football Factory (2004), The Business (2005), Marching Powder (2025) knows how to use him in the right way. When he is playing a supporting character, usually on the back foot and showing his vulnerability, that's when he shines. Another example was the way Christopher Smith used him in Severance (2006) where he was an inconsequential character at the beginning that had to rise to the fore as circumstances dictated and became the hero. In other words writer/director J. K. Amalou just sees Dyer as this stereotypical tough geezer hired to carry his film on his misunderstood and much maligned reputation which doesn't work because there needs to be more substance which Amalou doesn't provide.

It would seem Dyer is given minimal direction as the Assassin as he proceeds to just show up, take out a gun and go through the motions in a cliched, uninspiring and tired gangland thriller. The characters are under developed, the story is not engaging enough and the music score is just plain annoying.

Teaming Dyer up with brothers Martin & Gary Kemp, who impressed in their feature film debut playing real life gangsters in Peter Medak's The Krays (1990) must have seemed like an inspired idea but J. K. Amalou rests on his laurels and makes no effort to craft an engaging thriller on the back of this, The Long Good Friday (1980) this is not. It's lazy filmmaking that relies on the misguided notion that if we get some tough guy actors to front the film we'll get away with any old tosh as long as there are guns, violence and a bit of nudity thrown in with a London backdrop.

Amazingly this is executive produced by Martin Scorsese regular Barbara De Fina of Goodfellas (1990), Cape Fear (1991) Casino (1995) and Hugo (2011) fame but despite her pedigree she brings nothing of that to this project. No wonder Danny decided this was to be his last feature film before taking refuge in the TV soap Eastenders for the next 10 years where at least he could demonstate his acting chops and became relatable to audiences of all ages as the loveable Mick Carter.

With it's many continuity errors, poor direction, shoddy editing and unlikeable characters Assassin sadly has no redeeming qualities with which to recommend it so this one is strictly for Danny Dyer completists only.

Danny Dyer plays a hit-man called 'Jamie'... alright, I suppose there must be some hit men in the world called 'Jamie' - but for conjuring up a hard man character, let's just call him 'Marion'.

Marion kills people. And looks very sleepy whilst he does it. He might be moody. He's possibly hung over. Who knows? He doesn't like talking much. Because he tells his 'bird' "I ain't one for talking" (or words to that effect. Presumably to add to his moodiness?) At one point, he senses imminent danger. How? A seagull flies overhead. Perhaps part of his moodiness is talking to animals and birds? Anyone, before this seagull can shout "Watch it you mugs!", a spray of bullets. And old Daniel's stood there like he's just remembered he's left his front door key at home.

Meanwhile, The not-really-the Krays Brothers seem to think they're in the British answer to Michael Mann's 'Heat'. Maybe even 'Leon'. Unfortunately they come across as two blokes in a self-build borrowed from Grand Designs.

Some scenes have bad audio. (For example, there's a 'confrontation' on a street at night. The ambiance would have you believe it was chucking out time on a Friday night - yet for all this drunken cavorting noise, there's hardly a person to be seen. Anywhere.) Some have bad camera work/direction. Every scene is poor translation of an even worse screenplay. Seriously: 'Marion' kills some bloke with a plastic bag (The police believe it's some nonce engaging in a bit of auto-erotic asphyxiation - and the way Dyer does it, it might as well be. And we know the police think he died due to auto-erotic asphyxiation because they tell us about 4 times).

Dead bag man turns out to be the dad of some topless dancer who Dyer takes home for a bit of how's one's father. I've lost count the number of times this has happened to me. Assassinate someone. Pick up a tart. Oh no: They're related.

And then the two brothers in the Grand Designs house start getting wobbly because SOMEONE might find out. But Dyer - the professional assassin that he is - can't kill the tart, because he's getting his leg over. (Presumably he's not had much recently) It's easy to poke at Dyer - he is miscast, relying on some 'smell the fart' acting, but he's not the weakest link here. The script is just a cut 'n paste from every crap gangster/hit-man movie there ever was. The direction, supporting cast... all not very good at all.