Arleen Sorkin credited as playing...
Harley Quinn
- Lex Luthor: [getting into his limousine] The office. Now.
- Harley Quinn: Swell, Mr. L.
- Lex Luthor: Mr. L? Mercy?
- Harley Quinn: Oh, yeah, she had a little accident.
- Lex Luthor: [she locks the doors and drives out into traffic] All right, missy, I don't know what your game is, but I promise you, you'll pay dearly for this. You're dead! Do you hear me?
- Harley Quinn: [yawning] Blah, blah, blah. Whoa, mama! Check out the cute hitchhiker!
- The Joker: [showing leg like a femme fatale] Yoo-hoo!
- Lex Luthor: [Harley stops the car and he gets in] Joker.
- The Joker: Lexy, old kid, do I have a deal for you.
- The Joker: Carlini, all that spicy food. You look a little gassy.
- Ceasar Carlini: [having laughing gas sprayed in his face] No! Stop!
- The Joker: [dragging a laughing Carlini, tied up in a sack, to a storage pantry] Adios, muchacho.
- [to Carlini's henchmen]
- The Joker: Holy guacamole. Looks like you need a new leader. I nominate me.
- Harley Quinn: I second the nomination.
- The Joker: All opposed?
- The Joker: [Harley sprays laughing gas into an antique shopowner's face] Good work, Harley, girl. Now, what would be a suitable trade for our joke-in-the-box?
- [a jade dragon catches his eye]
- The Joker: Ooh! For some reason, this just speaks to me. What do you think, Harl?
- Harley Quinn: It's you, puddin'.
- [straining, he yanks it off its base]
- The Joker: [to the dead shopkeeper as they leave] Awfully nice doing business with you. Ta. What a pleasant fellow.
- The Joker: Caesar Carlini, my old pal! Why, I haven't seen you since... wait, I've never seen you, have I? You need to get out more.
- Ceasar Carlini: Who is this clown?
- The Joker: Not clown... Joker. I'm town on business, and I need a place to hang my hat.
- Ceasar Carlini: Try the Motel 9.
- The Joker: But it'll be so much cozier at your place, like a sleepover.
- Ceasar Carlini: Are you nuts? Kill him!
- Harley Quinn: [Carlini's henchmen draw guns on him] Ooh, can I play, too?
- [bouncing on them on a pogo stick]
- Harley Quinn: Boingy. Boingy. Boingy.