The Last Rescue

A long time ago in a place far far away to the east of the US, a SS unit, spearheaded by an outdated assault gun(by golly, it is a Stug III!), attacks some US troops in what resembles a forest that is proclaimed to be in the North of France in World War II, but is probably located in the Apennines.

Some make a stand and others flee, like a a bunch of soldiers of the elite Screaming Eagles 101st airborne division, which might have greatly offended any vet still living and make him die with the sheer outrage of it. No US airborne unit operated in the autumn in the North of France(they were held in reserve), but no SS units did either(they were pulled in reserve for the planned counter attack later in the year). So it is just a lot of baloney either way.

Nor did the SS operate with a Stug III in what is obvious sandy camouflage, which nobody in his right mind would use in the green landscape of North West Europe. At least not for long considering the total air dominance by the allies.

So the SS surrounds a group of American soldiers, which also includes two women of the medical staff, one a nurse and the other a doctor. This surely attests to the reach of the counter attack as women medical staff didn't operate near the front-lines, so we are talking about a deep advance into liberated territory with one assault gun, a bunch of captured American vehicles and what might have been a SDKFZ 250.

Interestingly enough the SS officer later on tell us that they have been commanded to stay put. This makes it even a greater feat because it is an counter attack that is actually not a counter attack. It boggles the mind!

It is a pity that this feat has gone completely unrecorded in history, but lucky we got this movie to tell us all about it.

The story meanders a bit while the US soldiers liberate themselves, capture Germans, then get captured again, then escape again and so on. After a while you lose count of the many twists. It might even be called exasperating.

The cast has no script to work with, unless it must be a early draft of Rambo, as one inexperienced private escapes the German clutches and goes on a killing spree. Which isn't really a big deal as the Germans are the most inadequate hapless bunch I have ever seen. Their main type of attack is aiming. They never got to the pulling the trigger part of their combat training. Or perhaps they are to dumb operate on their own and require a specific command to fire their rifles. Most likely they know they don't have any real ammo, for they just shoot blanks in this movie.

Considering that these Germans managed to drive off the US forces earlier in the movie, this must say something about the quality of the US troops as well.

The Germans are interestingly dressed in almost every possible piece of uniform that they had from 1940 onward. Just look at the boots! Almost every type is present. It is a feast of merriment for anyone who is somewhat interested in the German army.

It looks to me that someone invited a bunch of re-enactors to play the Germans. Which must be true, because everyone, including the French dude, speaks English, which is lucky for the audience, because the Germans speak the most atrocious German I have ever heard. It isn't even close to German what they garble. Come on people, stick to English if you really can't speak a word of German, now you just look like the assorted bunch of pretending idiots that you are.

Almost everything is wrong in this movie, which has a Captain who is far too old for a field commission, a nurse who wears hair that is far too long and voluminous for the period, Germans who are too stupid to aim straight, Germans armed with assault rifles and machine pistols that they never use in the fight scenes(lucky for Rambo), Germans adorning their vehicles with very big German flags(which helps with the bombing). And on and on goes the list of foolishness in this dreadful piece of nonsense.

Is there any redeeming quality to this movie?

Well it is at better than Orcs!

Perhaps the movie would have been better with a Tiger tank in it?

Who knows.

Cody Keach as the Private is not too bad, but the rest of the male actors leave a bit to be desired. Also, some of the outlandish feats of the private are not too believable. The nurses are fine, but their scripts are a bit uneven at times. The production values also leave a lot to be desired, but considering the budget, they did the best they could.

The story of nurses and soldiers caught between German and American lines after D-Day, seemed more like a Battle of the Bulge situation than D-Day. However, there is no real chemistry between the actors in the film, and ultimately, that is its downfall. Find something else to view.

This is what happens when you make a cheap movie in south Alabama. The scenery was wrong for northern France.

Women didn't serve in combat in 1944. WACs and nurses didn't have hairstyles like Nancy and Vera.

There were no German vehicles in movie. They just tossed Nazi flags over U.S. Jeeps. The German spoken was unrecognizable, and I speak German. They just used a bunch of familiar words like schnell. One of the German soldiers spoke with a Brooklyn accent.

Maxwell disappeared when grenade blew-up--poor special effects. The clothing and weapons were from post-Vietnam era.

Only a young person would be fooled by this poor excuse for a WWII movie.

The Last Rescue try's very hard to make a worthwhile B grade WWII drama/action flick and partly succeeds. The storytelling is reasonable, if predictable, and the acting is actually quite good.

Where this film falls down badly is the choice of locations. Its very obviously not Europe. Worse still its not careful in its use of what is available. Houses used in the film are clearly not European, they look American. I was not surprised to find this film was shot in the USA.

Perhaps this sounds petty but misuse of locations can really ruin the sense of atmosphere that was initially well established in the opening scenes of this drama.

The Last Rescue is a reasonable effort that could have been better again with a more considered choice of locations and buildings. Six out of ten from me.

The last thing we needed was another low budget, badly scripted and poorly edited war film with re-enactors who can't act for toffee; but we don't always get what we want.

The plot is that it's 1944 and some American soldiers are lost behind enemy lines. One of them has a whoopsie in the trench and his Captain gets injured. This gives the makers the excuse to have some nurses in the mix too - for l'amour as it were. Then they have to get back to their lines etc etc.

Now the acting is actually OK in places so that is a break with the norm. The vehicles are all real but we have a tendency to use American materiel and drape a Swastika over the front to disguise it and fool us all into thinking it really is German. Why camouflage a vehicle then advertise it with a ruddy big red, white and black flag?

The music is a bit too dramatic - especially as there is very little action. The scenes go on far too long; this needed some vigorous editing to be honest. There is no tension and any that does build up soon evaporates in the lack of anything happening. The guns are OK in places but those with a keen eye will see some of our Nazi bods sporting a rather 'ahead of its time' AK 47. The uniforms are a bit ropey, there are too many plot holes to bother with and the cover art work is pure fantasy.

I tried to find something positive, and apart from some efforts in the acting department - there is nowt - even the plot is so dire and plain bad it is enough to make one cringe; its isn't even so bad that it is funny. If you want to waste your time you could clean your naval button fluff out instead it will be more rewarding.