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Altar Gang: Skiff and AJ's Fantastic Voyage (2013)

Review by DannyD1997

Altar Gang: Skiff and AJ's Fantastic Voyage

1/10

The Most Boring Piece of Christian Media Ever

I may be Christian, but good god, this movie is such a borefest! Whether you like VeggieTales or not, this movie is not for you. I remember seeing the trailer for this movie. And after finally watching it on the Lumen Entertainment website, I didn't even know why people liked this movie, to be honest. If I have to be real with you here, this movie is so boring!!

I'm amazed that this is actually worse than VeggieTales. It made Superjail!, King Star King, Problem Solverz, etc. All look good by comparison!! For a Christian cartoon inspired by the classic 1966 20th Century Fox film Fantastic Voyage, it's so lame!!! I have a lot of reasons why this "movie" sucks!! First off, the animation is terrible. It's bland, ugly to look at, and felt like they're ripping of the animations of Pixar, DreamWorks, Blue Sky, and even Illumination. Mostly Pixar. Fanboy and Chum Chum looked better than this eyesore.

Second, the writing is bland and lazy. Nothing about this movie made me laugh at all! It takes elements from Beauty and the Beast, and the singing is terrible. This movie attempts to be Pixar, but really fails. I mean... "We're under a tack"?? Where's the pizazz?? I need all the power you can "mustard"?? Lame!! Horrible voice acting, pandering to us Christians, oh, and the music is so boring!!

I had more fun watching Shark Tale of all movies compared to this mess!! The city inside the human body setting was handled way better in Osmosis Jones than in this movie!! If this is the kind of movie that would appeal to Christians, just stay away from this borefest, and watch the Prince of Egypt instead! Heck, I had more fun watching the Beginner's Bible series by Jim Jinkins compared to this!!

I mean, the dad in this movie seriously looks like a discount Bob Parr. I'm not even kidding!! Skiff and AJ have little to no character at all. You know what? I'm surprised this film didn't get any infamy on the internet for how lazy and boring it really is!! Even the last two seasons of Dexter's Laboratory and the Powerpuff Girls were better than this!!

And to think, this movie featured a team of artists who worked on the Incredibles, Ratatouille, Curious George, and even Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie?? I had more fun watching Discovery Kids than this!! Stay away from this movie at all costs!! Or, if you wanna know how bad the film truly is, then see it for yourself.
  • DannyD1997
  • Aug 8, 2024

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