Stuart Greer credited as playing...
Sheriff Watts
- Phoebe: How did this happen? How the fuck did this happen?
- Mike Howell: I shot those guys in the head. And that guy, I like, I spooned him in the neck and his shit just, like, ended.
- Phoebe: You just killed two guys?
- Mike Howell: They were trying to stab me, Phoebe.
- Phoebe: Why are people trying to stab you?
- Mike Howell: I don't know! Shh! I don't know, but I am, like, freaking out all over the place. Babe, I have a lot of anxiety about this.
- Sheriff Watts: [sirens wail] Get your hands in the air!
- Phoebe: Oh, fuck me. Yup.
- Sheriff Watts: Oh, God, it's Mike.
- Mike Howell: I'm sorry!
- Sheriff Watts: How many times have you been in this station, Mike? Since you were 22? Your probation officer must be the Michael Jordan of bullshitters because I've never seen you gone more than a couple of hours. Mike, tell me you didn't kill these people.
- Phoebe: They attacked him. He was defending himself.
- Sheriff Watts: Excuse me?
- Phoebe: What was he supposed to do?
- Sheriff Watts: You're his girlfriend. You're his mom. You're his maid. You're his landlady. Now you're his lawyer?
- Mike Howell: It was just a thing. It was just a thing that happened. I didn't mean to.
- Sheriff Watts: You didn't mean to? Two men are dead, Mike. There's no walking away this time.