Neil Patrick Harris credited as playing...
Barney Stinson
- Barney Stinson: Thus my friends I have become through methods somewhat gory, the Player King of New York City. Boom. The End. True Story.
- Marshall Eriksen: [voiceover narration] He rose to go approach this girl who commanded such intrigue, when Mommy interrupted...
- Lily Aldrin: Dude, she's way out of your league! She's not in Daisy Dukes nor squeezed into a Hooters tee, and I don't see a Curves membership dangling from her key. She has no glaring spray tan, no unicorn tattoos. She's sipping chardonnay, not pounding cherry-flavored booze. Her makeup isn't running. She's not playing with her hair. There's very little chance she'll let you put it anywhere.
- Barney Stinson: Your challenge is accepted, Lil. There is no girl too pretty, for I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City!
- Tuxedo Charlie: The Agreement of 2004 quite clearly did define Fifth Avenue to be our hunting grounds' dividing line! Your West Side college girls are not the slip I park my boat in, so you shall know my East Side debutantes are quite verboten!
- Barney Stinson: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
- Ted Mosby: Nobody did.
- Barney Stinson: I'll now address your query.
- Captain Bill: You all know me, and you all respect my game: I dress up like a pilot and meet girls in Baggage Claim.