7 Chinese Brothers

Larry (Jason Schwartzman) is a slacker with little ambition. He works a menial job at the oil change garage. He has his dog. He is joined by his grandmother (Olympia Dukakis). His friend Major Norwood gets him his drugs.

It's Schwartzman doing his slacker thing. For his fans, this may be interesting. Indie filmmaker Robert Byington is not strictly mumblecore. His dialog is not mumble but it has much of the indie sensibilities. In the end, there isn't much going on with this character. It's hard to tell if he cares or is he just scared like when he runs out on a sure thing with a girl. It makes it hard to care about him.

This film is a case study on why film criticism exists, to separate the chaff of it from the wheat it pretends as.

Neither an evolution nor simulcrum of Lost in Translation, Office Space, or Bottle Rocket, this extended screen test of Jason Schwartzman inhabiting deep suburban environs as a narcissist layabout was likely pitched to distributors as a mashup of all three.

Writer-director Bob Byington begins with an old R.E.M. song, 7 Chinese Brothers. This song, from the band's Reckoning album, was naught but a prank; it was Michael Stipe singing the liner notes to a random gospel LP he'd found laying around, which the studio engineer mistakenly recorded, and which the band, finding the track's accidental provenance hilarious, formed into a nondescript, mildly jangly tune.

Does this near non-song by R.E.M. inform Byington's film in any measure? No, except that he cues the song at the end credits so that the key grips might have a mildly jangly ruffle and flourish behind their accrediture.

From the song Byington derives the title, and upon the meaningless title Byington builds no story whatsoever, and by no story I mean not even a Seinfeldian non-story proposition.

Jason Schwartzman is the lead as "Larry." Schwartzman, who is a celebrity and a very good actor, and who might perpetually attract some long-tail audience interested in watching him do anything--say, selling peanuts in a ballpark vendor's uniform-- for a duration of 76 minutes, is required by Byington to move in and out of bland sets (a quik lube garage, a dingy convenience store) and make slight actions (throw a hat at a Mazda, deny your grandmother a sip from a Big Gulp) that are supposed to stand in for the plot or un- plot as it were. Nothing worth filming, nothing that would be worth filming by students, is there.

These are petty crimes against cinema Byington is caught at, but that should be no taint against Schwartzman, who screen tests as plumly as ever, or indeed against Tunde Adebimpe or Eleanor Pienta, who check in as friendly companions who join us in wondering just what is supposed to be fascinating about a character who is simultaneously so self-possessed and so lacking in initiative of thought, credible emotion, or stirrings.

Rather than screening this movie, Schwartzman enthusiasts are better off hunting down Hotel Chevalier and spending the time gained from unspent viewing balancing their checkbooks.

Jason Schwartzman is Larry, a pill-popping alcoholic who lacks any ambition whatsoever. When Larry isn't getting fired or looking for a new job he can make a joke of, he spends his time visiting his grandmother in a nursing home and talking to his dog.

Schwartzman seems to be the go-to actor for insightful, comical and somewhat dark character studies. Though he is quite charming in this quirky role, 7 Chinese Brothers isn't really insightful at all. There are a few funny moments here and there but when the film takes a more serious, dramatic turn towards the end, the most unpredictable thing is how inconsequential everything turns out to be.

It's a sad story about a likable loser, like many of the characters Schwartzman plays. When it's revealed why this character is the way he is, it makes sense but it's hard to feel anything for him due to his unwillingness to admit his true feelings and embrace the opportunities given to him.

Reading some reviews I half expected a slacker film as in something a bit like American Pie (but with slackers). But this was good - I like films that are realistic like this one. That is the main thing I liked - not big high stakes drama or clichés or tilting towards a message.

The character was not pointless - the character does grow.

I didn't really understand the title though. I like REM (I was really into them as a young adult - probably too much). But whilst the song might have an interpretation that makes sense in the context of the movie, it surely doesn't enough to name the film after it. A kind of random incidental-ism is fine, but it should make some sense.

As I overheard someone going out of its showing at the Traverse City Film Festival saying "That was fricking torture." A story about an unlikable slacker going nowhere, the movie is filled with people uttering painfully unfunny lines. At first the packed theater politely laughed and by the end of this pointless 75 minutes the audience was dead silent (or asleep). I won't dwell on the plot because there is none. Sorry if I sound angry but it was a wasted evening and $24 for my wife and me.

How sad that Olympia Dukakis has let herself sink to the level of appearing in a movie this banal. Jason Schwartzman's pug Arrow is the only star that earned his pay.

Stay away. (2/10)