Bonejangles

There are several different types of bad movies. Some are big- budget disasters, such as "Gigli"…and because of this, they are infamous. There are disasters that cost very little and were made by filmmakers who thought they were creating decent films…and "The Room" and "Plan 9 From Outer Space" are perfect examples. But with Bojangles, you've got something different…a bad movie that pretty much sets out to be a bad movie. And, because of this, you might just find it watchable. Most folks won't…but if you are the type person who likes "The Toxic Avenger" or "Killer Klowns from Space", then this movie might just be for you.

When I began watching the film, the only thing that really interested me was seeing Reggie Bannister in a small role. Bannister starred in all five of the Phantasm movies….lower budgeted slasher films which, occasionally, managed to be entertaining. Here he plays a serial killer who is the father of a super-serial killer, Bonejangles, and you see him dispensing sage advice to his aspiring son…most of which is completely insane. And, Bojangles himself is insane…a supernatural serial killer who cannot be stopped by bullets or most other means… and electricity only stuns him. His only weakness, according to his daddy, is his 'wee winkie'….and this pretty much sums up the sort of film it would be…with lots of sex jokes, some gratuitous nudity and a lot of dopey jokes. I could talk about the plot…but is that really even necessary (the answer, by the way, is no!!)?

In most ways, the film looks like a group of mostly 20-somethings got together and decided to make a movie…even though few of them had any experience with cinema. The acting, not surprisingly, is pretty rough and the jokes are the sort that friends who wrote the stuff would laugh at but others would just wonder why….why did they make the picture in the first place? Overall, it's not completely awful… the film has a few good moments. But these moments are few and the picture is one that I would recommend skipping unless you enjoy self-consciously bad movies.

While the 2017 movie "Bonejangles" from director Brett DeJager and writer Keith Melcher is labeled as a horror comedy, there wasn't much of either of those to be found here. The movie wasn't the least bit scary, and it utterly failed to make me laugh or smile.

The movie was off to a fairly poor start, then suddenly they threw zombies into the mix, and I decided to hang around and continue to watch the movie, as I love everything zombiesque. Turns out that adding zombies didn't really improve much on anything here, as the movie just kept on trotting ahead in the same monotonous and generic manner it had previously.

The characters in the movie were not particularly outstanding or memorable in anyway; and the serial killer Mr. Bonejangles, well, let's just say that he was as scary as a stack of fallen leaves and had the appeal of a jellyfish. Horrible, just horrible.

I managed to endure "Bonejangles" to the bitter end. Was I entertained? No, not particularly, but there are worse movies out there. I hoped the movie would pick up eventually, but it never happened.

As I logged on IMDb to write this review, I saw that there is a "Bonejangles 2" movie. I think I will just smoothly give that movie a wide berth.

If I could give a film ZERO stars then that would be too many for this particular outing.

Look...low budget films don't have to be bad. What they lack in funding they can make up in acting, story or tone. The producers of this gem apparently either forgot all of that (or never learned it) and the result is the WORST film that I have seen in 2017. The year isn't over, but this may be one of the worst film that I ever will see.

Let's review

1) No suspense 2) No frights 3) Bad acting 4) Terrible sound 5) Insipid plot 6) Dull characters 7) Truly offensive gay stereotype. 8) Truly offensive Black gay male stereotype 9) Truly offensive law enforcement stereotype 10) Truly offensive bearded guy stereotype

Bad film. Avoid it.

Assigned to protect a mythical killer, a police officer and his transportation team get stuck en route within the town limits of a small town cursed by a witch that causes the dead to rise and attack them, forcing the team to release the psychotic killer in their possession to help stop the zombies and get out alive.

This here was a pretty enjoyable slasher effort. One of the better aspects here is the genuinely creepy set up for the killer that has a wholly enjoyable air about it. The backstory about the voodoo powers and his family's connection to the mystical powers is a fine touch and has plenty to like about it with the explanations involving why he can't be killed or destroyed which is explained away nicely in the opening that has the information needed to get an idea of who he is. As well, that leads into the other big backstory including the cursed town which goes back to the witch's curse and how that brings the zombies back to life for them to stalk the town on that specific night to carry out the curse. There's also plenty to like here with the films' strong slasher scenes and confrontations. The stalking in the abandoned factory where it takes out the other officers before a stroke of luck captures the creature is a great opening with some atmospheric touches, much like the stalking in the woods where he runs through the campers in the woods which has some great kills featured here. With the mixture of his attack on the town attacking the guests at the reception as well as the zombies outside featuring tons of action and over-the-top atmospheric touches alongside the fun kills on display, the action picks up nicely in this section and provides a great setup to the finale where it brings some fine laughs into things as well. These here are what hold this one up while there are some problems with this one. One of the biggest issues is the seemingly rushed and awkward manner in which this goes about telling all the plot-points and storyline beats because it's shortened running time is wasted on nonsensical matters. There's no point for the extended, drawn-out flashbacks to their backstory in high-school or the bland, tepid romance reconnecting them again to take place in a story like this which forces this one to go through the explanations of the town curse or what happened to the killer in a brief, hurried manner that happens in here. Keeping this one as brief as it is when it has to waste time on unimportant matters while rushing through the important ones is a rather odd yet big mistake to make here. The other issue with this one is the rather confusing and somewhat unnecessary elements that don't have any point here. The storyline involving the flamboyant officer is irritating to watch with plenty of extravagant behavior and motivations that wouldn't be accepted by a real police force. That also applies to the behavior and antics between the two main cops who tend to be given comedic personalities in their cowardice and ill-trained nature for the situation making them highly unlikely to be on the force much less the ones that survived. The last problem is an underwhelming and barely worthwhile finale that offers up no real action, is over so quickly it's hard to know what happened and makes no sense without any explanation as to what happened, tying into the other issue here. These are what knock this down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Nudity and a brief clothed sex scene.

B movies are supposed to be bad, somehow this one is bad in ways even it did not intend to be. Understand, there is nothing good about this movie whatsoever. Cringeworthy overacting, confusing scene transitions, and absolutely no goddamn plot whatsoever. However, you will be 100% entertained every step of the way, as if you were watching a porta-potty burn to the ground.