War Pigs

Let's face it - this movie is terrible. Crappy post production battle effects, terrible dialogue and clichéd characters. The pace is pretty slow and the story is obvious. Also I hadn't realized how messed up Mickey Rourke's face has gotten.

But this movie is fully aware of what it is.

Dolph Lundgren with a French accent? Hilarious. Even he finds it funny in his acting.

If you put aside your armchair IMDb film critic career and suspend your disbelief - this is not that bad a watch - along the lines of Dirty Dozen, or even Inglorious Basterds (okay it's no Tarantino movie but hey, in spirit) I actually enjoyed the movie as it went on. Also aside from some of the post production battle elements, they do a good job of using language, uniforms and some WWII era vehicles to lend a superficial air of authenticity.

But hey, don't listen to me or anyone else - watch it for yourself. Dolph speaking with a French accent is worth it alone.

Having lived through those trying times, I can relate. I felt that, overall, this film was pretty accurate in the way the characters looked, dressed and acted. My wife criticized the constant smoking, but I told her that's what men did in those days, especially when the cigarettes were free. The language too, I felt was much more realistic than in many WWII films. In those days, even foul-mouthed tough guys seldom muttered the word "fuck" or "fucking". Mickey Rourke was the only guy in the film who did that a few times, but being Mickey Rourke, I guess he can get away with that. However, his use of "disrespect" was unforgivable. I'm not sure when that popular word came into use but it sure wasn't back in the '40s or '50s, etc. More like the '90s, and more like gang talk, not military jargon. Of course, as with any film, there have to be contrivances to make things work, and that's okay. Here, a group of misfits dubbed the War Pigs (think half a Dirty Dozen) are sent in on a mission to destroy the infamous V3 cannon. In reality, there were several and I really don't believe any were actually destroyed by allied armies. Rather, the Normandy invasion caused the Nazis to remove a couple, others were dismantled as encroaching allied troops caused the Nazis to break the guns down themselves to avoid having them captured by the Allies. But these guys did a pretty good job and held their own. Overall I enjoyed this a lot more than many war stories since it wasn't filled with as much blood and guts as are so many. It focused more on the men's training, their actual mission and their relationships. I would swear however, than when the leader of the mission was chosen, he was a captain. Two minutes later and up until the end of the film he was a lieutenant. Maybe I missed something. Someone else complained about Dolph Lundgren's French accent. (a) he has become a really formidable actor in his old age, given the chance to do something besides play a Universal Soldier type, and (b) I believe, in the film, he was actually German (probably from Alsace which has an identity problem), who had been conscripted by the Nazis. He slipped off and joined La Légion Etrangère and came back to fight for right and justice and all that good stuff. Overall, I thought this was a pretty good war flick. I'm not normally a war movie lover. I never saw Inglorious, etc. but my wife picked this up at a Red Box, and we could have done a lot worse, as in "Knock Knock". Oy!

This must rank as one of the worst researched and acted war movies of recent years. US soldiers disheveled and unkempt, dirty dozen-like, an absolutely absurd scenario and on top of it all, no research as to uniforms and army traditions. Foreign Legion officers never wear or wore the kepi blanc and the character of the tooth-pick chewing long-haired US "colonel" complete with his cowboy hat is absolutely ridiculous. The acting is terrible throughout and full of boring stereotypes. One wonders if this is meant to be a war movie or a B-movie parody. 1 out of then 10 is too good for this disaster of a movie!

An hour of "training for the mission" consisting of lame buddy banter, then some action about as menacing as paint-balling, and a mercifully abrupt ending.

Photography and sound-track were acceptable. I could actually see and hear what was going on, unlike so many "straight-to-DVD" cheapies. And no pretentious gimmicks like flashbacks or twists, nothing "arty" at all. But the script and plot were like something a thirteen-year-old could come up with.

Normally in these "group of misfits thrown together" movies, whether war or disaster efforts, you get the same bunch of stereotypes, the Jew, the Black, the coward, the racist bully, the traitor, the alcoholic, the naive farm-boy, etc. This film was so half-hearted that none of the group even got depicted at that superficial level, remaining totally anonymous.

Honourable mention for Luke Goss, who gave a passable Clint Eastwood imitation. Should be considered if they ever make a Clint biopic.

Let's be honest, you saw the cast or description and thought this would be an action packed war movie. Sad to say, War Pigs is a slow trudging march of bad acting and unappealing script. Even the supposed big names like Mickey Rourke and Chuck Liddell only appear briefly and what little action it has is done without finesse.

Story follows Dolph Lundgren and Luke Goss as they assemble rag tag squad to overcome Nazi advances. This is practically the whole movie, they recruit some people, train them while creating bond of brotherhood. It may sound good if it had better material, yet the plot is barren and tedious. Be it may the actors or dialogues, neither are interesting.

War movie is tricky, it inherently has some expectations and emotions involved. Many movies with better cast and production have mixed result, War Pigs have none the polished delivery nor the gritty nature to pull off this kind of scale. It's simply a few men bantering for an hour and half. The subject may have been engaging, but the presentation offers barely any battle of wit or actual battle at all.

If the slow pace hasn't deterred the audience, the flimsy action would. With the leading action stars, the movie could have done at least action sequences right, instead it only produces a very amateurish effort. The camera lacks focus and gun fight doesn't even look remotely real. It probably wouldn't help much since the cumulative action is probably only ten minutes or less.

War Pigs certainly doesn't have the depth to present cerebral war theme, it lacks the production to capitalize on the action oriented cast and it's far from authentic to appeal to military fans. It only gives a sense of desolation and tediousness for the audience.