Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Leonard Hofstadter: I've seen you two sit next to each other doing different things.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's called parallel play.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Toddlers do that.
- Sheldon Cooper: Not as well as we do.
- Leonard Hofstadter: A relationship is not something you can quantify.
- Sheldon Cooper: Everything is quantifiable. This french fry? A seven. Spider-Man? A nine. The number nine? Oddly enough, a four.
- Leonard Hofstadter: How ridiculous is he?
- Penny: A hundred.
- Raj Koothrappali: You suck, Wolowitz!
- Howard Wolowitz: What the hell was that?
- Raj Koothrappali: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved baseball tradition.
- Sheldon Cooper: He's right. And considering you're still waiting to be called for a game you played in fifth grade, you probably do suck.
- Sheldon Cooper: Did you enjoy my lecture?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No, and neither did our waiter.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, but if you're going to serve Cornish game hen, you should either know all about the history of Cornwall, or be prepared to learn it. You can't argue with that.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I know, I saw a poor, sad man trying to and failing.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: How about this? You stay for the game, I'll buy you some cotton candy and a bobblehead.
- Sheldon Cooper: Bobblehead of whom?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Does it matter?
- Sheldon Cooper: Not as long as it bobbles.
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay, new plan: we go to Disneyland, play hide-and-seek on Tom Sawyer's Island, and come back in time for the end of the pitch.
- Sheldon Cooper: The ranking of relationships in our circle by quality is: me and Amy, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his girlfriend, Penny and Chardonnay, Penny and you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: There isn't any ranking and if there were, we wouldn't be at the bottom.
- Penny: Yeah, and actually I drink Sauvignon Blanc.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's the part you have a problem with?
- Penny: Relax.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: There they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to Sauvignon Blanc.