Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Sheldon Cooper: So, what are some ways we could set our comic book store apart from the competition?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hmm, kids buy comic books. It would be great to figure out a way to get more kids in the store.
- Howard Wolowitz: You know, when I was a kid, I loved going there, but I could never get a ride.
- Raj Koothrappali: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around and picked kids up?
- Sheldon Cooper: Nice! Like at schools and parks.
- Howard Wolowitz: Toy stores, puppet shows.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hold on. So your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
- Raj Koothrappali: We are now!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Can you see how a grown man, an accomplished scientist, who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
- Sheldon Cooper: No.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
- Sheldon Cooper: Great. Wait until you hear about our van.
- Sheldon Cooper: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an an appointment for you to look at them?
- Emily Sweeney: Um, OK. I guess.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.
- Sheldon Cooper: I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick. What, is this a comic book store or a rave at the third little pig's house.
- Howard Wolowitz: He has my mother buying four-ply now. Four-ply! If his tushy is so delicate, why doesn't he just wipe with an angora rabbit?
- Sheldon Cooper: For starters, they shed and bite.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'd like your honest opinion on something.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Of course.
- Sheldon Cooper: Before I start, I need you to know that I'm very excited about this, and anything you say that isn't enthusiastically supportive will throw our entire relationship into question. So... keep an open mind.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm feeling a little backed into a corner, Sheldon.
- Sheldon Cooper: Perfect.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, if there's anything that really gets my goat it's those daggum insurance companies.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Why, because they won't get off your lawn?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Did you hear about this research on gene manipulation that's trying to create some sort of dinosaur-like chicken?
- Sheldon Cooper: I think that sounds wonderful.
- Howard Wolowitz: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and birds.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, but you tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.
- Penny: I hear you're a dermatologist.
- Emily Sweeney: Uh, yeah. I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh I like their emergency room. Even if it turns out you don't have dengue fever, they still let you take home a lollipop.
- Sheldon Cooper: I guess that English study was right. One friend down. I wonder who's the next to go?
- Raj Koothrappali: You! You are! It's you!
- Sheldon Cooper: Nah, you love me.