Infernal

This movie is boring trash from start to finish. It appears that someone thought the cast dropping the F word every other line would make this film more gritty and real. What it did is make you wish it would end and the cast would 5tfu themselves.

Let's get to sound, it's hi, it's lo, you are constantly grabbing your remote to adjust when you should really hit mute, because there isn't much worth listening to. Best case scenario is to fall asleep and just miss the rest of the film and be happy you didn't endure any more boredom than this dished out. The beginning of the film shows all these people wishing the married couple happiness by way of video, but there is this one guy who keeps shouting at the camera operator "we're not cool man, we're not cool, so 5tfu and let me tell my story Bro, cause we're not cool man!" Just a horrible concoction to waste screen time, because it goes nowhere!

Then, somehow, this earthquake thing happens when the girl mentions she's pregnant, and the cross on the wall turns upside down while this cheesy stock sound effect is heard. The effect basically screams HOME MOVIE!

From this point on the movie just bounced back and forth from worthless shot to worthless shot, whether the parents are explaining how the daughter is BROKEN because she's combing her hair, or visiting a counselor so they can understand that the daughter has problems......because she's combing her hair.

Let's get to the music. How often does one watch a film like this and wonder why the music doesn't work with any scene in the film, and then you think, ah, the director or producer has a friend or kid who has a garage band, let's have them get their name out by putting their music all over this film? It didn't work, and most of the time distracts from this boring turkey.

So, watch if you want to see a VERY bad film that is NOT so bad it's good.

I'm going to file this under "could have been good". The story had potential. The direction didn't seem terrible. The acting however was just atrocious, with the exception of the little girl. The biggest down fall of this B rated, well maybe C rated, movie is the dialogue. It's just incredibly bad. The characters cuss constantly which isn't a problem for me really, but then they mix in large words that sound completely out of character. An example would be something like "F**k, I have to walk swiftly into the washroom of our domicile and use the proper facilities to take a s**t." It's like that through the whole movie, very strange. It's one of those movies that you just have to finish to see how bad the train wreck is going to be. I really think the story was a decent one though, just poorly pulled off. I like horror movies that use very little special effects, because for me it adds to the thought "this could happen". Anyway, I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time, but it was close.

This movie is so ridiculously horrible that it's depressing that anyone ever thought this was going to turn out even mediocre. The acting is abysmal the plot is non existent and it doesn't even begin to make sense. The film starts out with some of the most awful acting ever, so bad that I suspected that it was dubbed over. A couple goes through some turmoil as the woman reveals her pregnancy and the man is all "Oh no, commitment oh god whatever shall I do". The woman asks for a marriage to accompany the child and the guy goes and makes a tape ring and yay they get married. Right after they get married, Lucifer himself shows up and a cross gets turned upside down and this sound effect (which will be repeated across the entire film) starts that sounds like it was taken off of the internet because the director realized his film was scheduled for release in an hour so he was like "SCREW IT GRAB ANYTHING". It might just be the worst scene ever. But at least that scene made me die laughing. The rest of the movie is oppressively bad and more then anything boring. It's a generic found footage film except it spices the formula up by making it awful. They managed to take a dump on any merit the original concept of found footage ever had. There is no explanation for an eight year time skip in which apparently nothing of remote interest happened. They didn't even bother to make the actors look even remotely aged. EIGHT YEARS AND THIS MAN STILL WEARS A LAZY FIVE'O CLOCK SHADOW. The first sign that anything is wrong is that the girl likes to brush her hair. She also is apparently anti-social though this is expressed by her standing off somewhere. Then the girl disappears some comb horror occurs and the movie cuts to therapy. The therapist apparently recommends constantly monitoring her, hence the found footage, despite knowing she has autism. A disease that inherently causes problems communicating with others. Obviously the best solution is filming everything so we can see Gollum come in to the tune of the worst sound effect ever and pat peoples heads. LIKE WHAT IS EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE GOING ON!? She likes to comb her hair, why is that weird? What? The parents act like they've been through and back but this kid does literally nothing. She seems fairly manageable and since nobody ever acknowledges the footage that shows the physical entity of Satan entering their daughters room and carving symbols into the back of her head, what exactly is stressing these people out? COMBS?!

Infernal is a story about a couple who get married, have a child and live an increasingly difficult life. Much of this is because they have a weird little girl--one that a therapist says is autistic, though there isn't a lot of evidence for this, as the child's actions, though weird, were not consistent with this diagnosis. Later, however, she starts acting creepy and you see glimpses of demonic type stuff on the family's home video cameras.

The story had some nice creepy moments, however, on balance I would not recommend the film. I have a strong prejudice against movies that employ the unsteady cam--a camera that never seems to stay in one place. A lot of TV shows and movies have been made that way but shouldn't have. Now I am not saying that nothing should be shot that way, as there are a few good examples where the camera looking like it's being held by someone with tremors isn't bad--such as with the deliriously profitable Blair Witch Project. But watching films like this is really hard on the eyes and unless there is a real compelling reason, these sort of films and shows quickly annoy. A few times such camera-work would have worked during the course of Infernal (such as when the family was videotaping various events such as weddings and a birthday party) but everything?! Additionally, the dialog seemed to need a lot of work. All too often the characters just said 'f**k' at the exclusion of something meaningful.

What is wrong with you people making this kind of crap?! This movie is neither scary nor interesting, it is just a boring waste of time! This is just 99 minutes into the boring life of sick people who don't even know why they actually auditioned to be in that movie in the first place. Please, stop the found footage stuff, we already got it : it is lame, the camera is shaky, we're getting seasick from watching a movie, and that is not supposed to be happening! The horror genre is going down and is probably going to disappear into the freak genre of stupidity. I would have liked to review something if there were any material to actually review, but there is none! It is ludicrous how that kind of dough could found enough support to make into an actual movie.