Massacre on Aisle 12

No idea why I ended up watching this, I saw it online and clicked play as it had a high rating.

Basically a guy starts a new job at this shopping mall ( we never really see the Mall and at first I thought he was at a small convenience shop )

It's Xmas Eve they tell you this at the start and there is a seedy Santa and a big boobed trashy blonde elf to keep up the Xmas spirit.

We have some flashback sequences of all the stores workers interviews, This sets up everyone's one dimensional stereotype, nice !!!

From there they discover a dead body and bag of money and they all argue/fight over what to do and who is the killer.

This a low budget film, possibly a homage to bad 80s films or just a bad film, who knows ???

It's pure corny slapstick with over exaggerated facial expressions and hammy dialogue.

It is shot and lighted well etc, and kind of passes all the basic filmmaking rules.

No soundtrack/music which was strange!!!

At times I was expecting to hear some Tom and Jerry cartoon type sounds or music, but nope.

I gave it a 4/10 being generous as it reminded me of 80s slapstick comedies and a few times I chuckled.

If your a bit bored and nothing else to watch and you like slapstick then try it. If not then I'd avoid it.

An average corny 4/10.

"Massacre on Aisle 12" certainly had every potential to be something great and truly unique, unfortunately the movie just never managed to reach that point at the hands of directors Jim Klock and William Mark McCullough.

The story had everything lined up for potential, as it was about a corpse and a duffel bag full of cash being discovered on-site by workers at a local hardware store. And as tension rise and people start distrusting and accusing one another, who can you trust and who will make it through the night?

It was the character gallery in the movie that really stuck out like a sore thumb, because they were just too generic, aside from the store manager. And as such, then it was difficult to relate to the characters and look beyond how one-dimensional, generic and mundane they really were.

I will say, though, that they had some good enough talented actors and actresses on the cast list to portray the characters and roles in the movie. However, they were just struggling with having card-board characters to portray, essentially.

The movie did also suffer from being rather predictable. And that was a shame, because the storyline was good, but it could have been so much better if it wasn't so predictable.

For a horror comedy then "Massacre on Aisle 12" wasn't particularly outstanding or memorable. As such then it ended up as being a less than mediocre movie experience. My rating is 4 out of 10 stars.

Labeled as a horror comedy or a dark comedy. Massacre on Aisle 12 is a lower budget independent film about a new employee whose first day working at a retail store discovers a dead body and a duffle bag of cash inside a large cabinet.

The comedy here is entirely forced, with its one liners and back and forth style babbling with crude remarks and such.

The lead character of Dave is about the only likeable character. Black Jack would be a close second. Otherwise, just about every other character is obnoxious, crude, bizarre and tries too hard. Filled with constant stereotypical characters and racist dialogue.

The film is relatively short in runtime which is beneficial. The ending revealing how the dead body and cash were found in the cabinet was slightly disappointing yet perhaps the most obvious outcome.

The film is definitely gory and has some solid gruesome kills which helps it's dark/black comedy aspect.

Overall, Aisle 12 isn't anything memorable or special. Some of these high rated reviews are massively overrating the film and do not understand how many found the film to be "really hilarious". As a rewatch 12 25 24' opinions remain same. The film certainly feels like it thinks it's more clever and funny than it is. The comedy is very forced and over the top. Perhaps slightly worse on the second viewing.

Stupendously splendid tale about moron employees at a hardware store fighting for a bag of money and their lives on Christmas Eve. Gloriously told through the eyes of the newly hired Dave, this is a superbly wonderful romp through horror comedy tropes chock full of holiday cheer and a bit of blood.

A pair of dimwit bank robbers stash their stolen loot in a hardware store and it gets discovered by an even more dimwitted staff. They all want the money, but someone keeps plucking them off, one by one. Who is the killer and who will get the money? It doesn't really matter because this cast is uproariously funny and packs some major talent (see also Amber Jean as Santa's Elf for even more talent).

I died laughing about 19 times watching this movie (Otto also dies about 19 times, which is another story). This is a horror comedy for the ages and will now been added to my annual Christmas Movie Extravaganza Weekend for this holiday and beyond.

8/10 (+1 for the gut-busting outtake reel on the DVD) = 9/10 stars total

...but failed.

This movie has it all.

Low budget Bad acting Terrible lighting One crappy location Bad jokes Terrible fight choreography Lots of very racist dialogue

I found myself cringing almost once a minute.