Even Lambs Have Teeth

Budget flick.

Lacking in any real plot.

Acting is poor, script is poor.

These revenge movies fail completely if you don't create characters you empathise with.

Not sure what the movies is trying to be, it avoids the gore so isn't a horror, no tension so not a thriller.

Typical movie on IMDb though, full of people rating it as if its a modern day classic.

Don't know what these fake reviews are meant to achieve.

Its a poor film and no fake reviews are going to hide that.

It's a very familiar premise, in this case flavored with a dash of Liam Neeson's first 'Taken.' And, well - between that familiarity and that garnish, it's safe to say any given viewer will know in no small part just what to expect. I can't say it's a pleasant watch, but filmmaker Terry Miles at least has the good taste to refrain from showing the full extent of the violence exacted upon the protagonists - less depiction, more suggestion. Fewer restraints are employed when it comes to depictions of the women's vengeance, and gratifyingly so - revenge is ever so sweet. Yet surprisingly, for all the blood that's spilled, still the full grisly brunt is withheld from our sight.

In place of utmost crimson and viscera, instead there a delightful playfulness in the second length. I wouldn't go so far as to say 'Even lambs have teeth' becomes a horror-comedy, but it's unquestionably self-aware, and wants to ensure the audience has a good time after subjecting us to distinctly unpalatable content initially. So wholly does the movie lean into that slant that the absolute, incredulous neatness with which the course of events transpires - all but echoing the storytelling approach of fairy tales in omitting non-primary elements from the story - seems purely intentional. It's a little bit ham-handed, sure, but to the point of enjoyment, not disbelief.

Blood effects look good, and technical craft in general is fine, including some commendable camerawork. The cast is suitable, and scene writing and execution are swell. The overall narrative is written well and completely, and ably washes over the unsavory facets of the plot with the amusing bits to help clinch a lasting impression of welcome diversion instead of unseemly (muted) exploitation. Any viewer hoping for a more abjectly thrilling experience may be put out, but if you're open to the feature's style, and its wish to only entertain, then you'll be in for a somewhat refreshing take on the sub-genre of torture-heavy bloodbaths that have proliferated in recent years. Never wholly captivating, but engaging all the same - and minding substantial content warnings for abduction, sexual assault, and general violence - 'Even lambs have teeth' is fairly worthwhile if you come across it.

I found this on Amazon and it appeared to be promising which should have been my first clue that something was awry given that I discovered it on Amazon. As I said it started promising and the acting wasn't obviously awful and the movie low budget......at first. When things turn for the worse for the two protagonists of the movie it is like the film, the actors, the writers, everyone just gave up and the movie disintegrated into a -D list type of movie.

At no point in time did I feel like the girls were in any sort of danger. The movie attempted to show their abuse at the hands of their attackers but their lack of tears, grief and their fresh out the salon hairstyles did not give off an air of despair. A situation that would have anyone in pure panic has them seemingly detached and bored as they deliver their lines like they are doing a reading. Once they are on the path of their "revenge" the movie rushes along and loses any sense of logical semblance and because it is done so poorly you really just don't care.

4/10 and that is being extremely generous.

I saw this movie at its "world premiere" in Denver in October 2015. The cast and crew were on hand to talk about it before and after. This review is spoiler free because there is very little to spoil.

The film is a quick 80 min. So quick that it feels rushed, not much thought was put into the most crucial scenes. The actors said it took 3 weeks to shoot, 12 hours a day, but it felt more like they had banged it out in a few days. Things happen very suddenly and with very little weight or consequence. I'm guessing that's due to the very low budget. Most of the action occurs off-screen, something the crew claims to be intentional, but I suspect it was also the effect of limited funds and even more limited imagination, since there are plenty of low-budget films who managed way more creative solutions in the face of scarce financing.

There are, to be fair, a few really funny moments, but on the whole the entire script is too ludicrous to take even halfway seriously. If somebody invites you to see this film, bring a bottle of booze and settle in. You're in for a night of amateurish acting and terrible puns. These lambs may have teeth, but they're small and dull.

Too much of the action left to the imagination. Extremely bad dialogue and while the acting wasn't bad, it was never elevated beyond mediocre. Sure, the girls were extremely pretty! But it wasn't enough to save this. A few good moments in a laughably horrible movie. And the soundtrack was completely nonsensical. It had no role in complementing the on screen activity at all. Absurdly distracting.